Saturday, December 29, 2007

I'm Allowed to Hope

i hope there could be more love. everywhere. just sweeeet love. no hatred. no green-eyed monsters. no back stabbers. no double faces. no more of that. just love. LOVE. love means honesty. love means trust. love means faithful. love means respect. love means understand. love means accept. that is love. lust is not love. physical attraction is not love. enjoy that person's company is not love.

i hope i could be less lazy. but hope is not enough, is it?

i hope i could be more confident and care less of what people think about me. i need to be me. nobody else. but that doesnt mean i dont accept criticism. i do. but be nice. i like nice people.

i hope i could be less sensitive. its not that i dont like this part of me that cares too much about other people and wanting to make everyone happy but its just that sometimes too much sensitivity hurts. so does that mean i can care less about the people i care? dont be stupid, azie. i dont like it when even the tiniest remarks ruin my mood. i dont like it when i get too easily offended. my soft spot too soft? but what about all those tantrums and screamings at the people i care? should my over sensitivity be blamed for that?   

i hope i could give more. give the things that i like instead of the things that i dont need anymore.

i hope i could be more brave. do public speeches. like i used to. minus the stutters.

i hope i could get in the dean's list next sem. i have to keep telling myself that i can and not finding excuses that i cant but at the end suddenly wish for a miracle to happen. there is no such thing as miracles, azie. its all what we put in.

i hope i could be more patient. the name expects me to.

i hope i could be a better morning person. i'm just so cranky in the morning that even i get annoyed with myself. i need to wake up with a smile and talk. i dont talk when i just woke up. not until i really have to talk.

i hope mus and so wouldnt have to be so far away from me. they're my everything. i hope i wouldnt miss them so much. missing them hurts.

so there they are. my hopes. i hope for a lot of things. but they're hopes. what are hopes without effort? its the effort that i need the most. thats the main thing that is lacking from me.

so yes, i am going to work hard for effort. then, all the hopes will come true. insyaAllah.

Happy New Year, friends! May Allah bless you all the way :)



  1. i love u azie...hehe..sometimes too concern bout things will hurt ownself deep true