Wednesday, March 12, 2008


im in this small room of ours. diana and syiqin are watching Ugly Betty at the living room. i was reading Atonement by Ian McEwan. stopped at chapter 3. love it so far. the language used is beautiful. i have the feeling that this book would be full of emotions. and i'll be sinking in with them.

the song thats playing now at my mp3 is When It Rains, Paramore. im surprised with myself for liking paramore. i dont listen to rock. not even linkin park. but i like paramore.

a person from the past suddenly called just now. the past seems to be so far away. yet the memories are near. i dont want it to be near. there should be a new phase between us. that is not tangled up between the past and the future. it should be about the new now. the past will stay in the past because thats where it deserves to be.

Leona Lewis's Here I am is playing right now. the lyrics i dedicate for my darlings that i miss every second- muslihah in indonesia and soraya in india.

my bus arrived here in shah alam at 4.15 am this morning. it was only a 4 hour ride from Penang! thats why i like konsortium. i didnt even realize that we had arrived until the bus driver woke me up with a aloud, "haa.. SHAH ALAM!". shocked, i woke up with eyes that were still blurry and tudung senget benget.

 i stopped and considered for 5 minutes at the bus station before moving to my house. it was dark and scary to walk alone. at instant, images of me being robbed, kidnapped or worse, raped (nauzubillah) went on and on in my mind. but then i couldnt wait there until 6 which is when people start to wake up to go to the surau or to work. that would take another two hours. i wouldnt want to waste two hours of precious slumber time. (see? sleeping beats the fear :p) so i gained the courage in me which was not much because i was actually still lalok.

with bismillah and endless zikir i walked as fast as i could. my right hand dragging my green bag which the wheels made a sound that could wake up the whole shah alam. my left hand holding on tight on my phone which i dialed in advance 991 just incase. if a creep suddenly appeared from nowhere and threatened to kill me or something i would just press the call button and scream where i was. yupp, that was my plan. but im typing this now. so alhamdulillah i arrived in one piece. :)

i think i wanna share a story. yesterday at penang; jeng jeng jeng~ :p

my brothers just got back from the masjid and found a guy in his 20s walking at our front lawn.

as my brothers approaced, the guy said, "pakcik makcik ada tak? nak jumpa depa sat,"

my brothers thought he was the plumber that my mom called earlier so they told her that the plumber is here. my mom was surprised to find out that he wasnt the plumber but the kid who just got out from prison 3months ago. he was a drug addict. he had met my parents before.

they were sitting outside on this one evening and saw him entering our lawn like it was his. his story was he just got out from prison and he didnt have any money to go back to his house and meet his family in taiping. my dad having that very big heart of his, sent him to the bus station. oh but before that, he gave that guy one of his ceramah. and said that if he was really regretful, he would go to the masjid and be a better person and all.

that was the last time he would come to our house. so thats what my parents thought until he suddenly appeared at our front lawn yesterday. this time he said he wants to meet my dad. he wants my dad's guidance. he said his family didnt accept him.

my dad was at work. so my mom went upstairs to give him a call. before my mom left, he asked for water. my mom gave him a glass of orange juice and spagetti that she cooked for brunch. i stayed behind the curtain and peeked. i watched his every movement. he swallowed everything in less than 5minutes. then he kept staring blankly at the floor. once in a while he would look at the shoe rack. but he kept staring at the floor. he said something. he was mumbling. i wanted to hear what he said so i moved closer to the window. i forgot that the window was not tinted. he saw me.

i ran upstairs and told my mom that he saw me peeking. my mom was still trying to reach my dad at the office. when she finally got him, he told my mom to tell that guy to go home. i went downstairs and peeked again. he was still there. my brother stayed in the living room with me. but he didnt peek. when my mom finally came down again, she opened the door and found out that he was gone. and it wasnt only him that was gone but my brother's new pair of converse shoes were gone as well.

so thats what he was staring at. the shoes were on the floor. my brother was outraged. he took one of my dad's golf stick and went on a hunt. my brothers and me drove around the area but he was nowhere to be seen. if we caught him, i was dead sure that his head would be smashed into pieces by my brother. perhaps thats the reason we didnt find him. he wouldnt be so lucky when he's burning in hell, though. The End.

moral of the story- dont trust strangers. honestly, tadi i wanted to write about something that is bothering me. but i end up writing about this. oh well. nak go back to Atonement. goodnight. :)


  1. Huh ..berani betul intai ek :|

  2. drug addict nak insap...camtula cara insap dia... hoho.
    not to be prejudice.but drug addict is drug addict.
    creative.innovative.and a lot of idea to survive as a drug addict.
    somehow aku mmg prejudice nampaknya.haha

  3. i hate that guy. the next time i see him, i'll cut his arm.

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