Monday, June 23, 2008

Pen merah, Pen biru, U marah, I love u.

How Do I Love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

ive been watching a lot of movies right now because i havent much things to do in the house. well actually i do but well, you know.. :P and there has been a lot of movies that include this poem in the script. like the movie My Giant and other movies that i cant remember the titles. and everytime the person reads the poem to his/her lover, i would be like, "hey thats that poem!" and kinda like do my own version of that scene in my head.

the first time i read this poem was from a book of everlasting love poems that i found in Borders. i stayed in that store for a very long time with that book. (didnt want to buy it because my budget on that day was for a dress. :P) reading it made me feel all mushy inside. and then when i reached this poem, my eyes got all teary. HAHA. i know..i know.. they're just words. but i love words. and sometimes, words are all i have. and as deceiving as they can be, i still spend most of my time believing in them.

being a muslim, we are fortunate that we have the Al Qoran as our true guidance. its like the source for everything. and ALLAH knowing that we humans love words with beautiful and rhyming structures, created the Al Qoran exactly that- beautiful, touching and inspiring.

there are plenty of rhyming surahs in the Al Qoran that i love to listen to. especially if they're recited by the Macca's imams, hafizs and of course from my dad. but i have my personal favourite from listening to the Al Qoran cd that my dad likes to play, surah Ar-Rahman. that surah gives me the chills. perhaps its because of the line;

فَبِأَيِّ آلاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَان

that is repeated for about 30 times (correct me if im wrong) which means;

Which then, of the favours of your Lord will you twain deny?

if you really go deep in the surah, it'll touch you. well actually every surah has the capability to do that but for me, Ar-Rahman does it best. because it rhymes and of course because of ALLAH's reminders and warnings that is emphasized again and again to make us realize of how our actions and deeds as a humble servant would affect our life now and in the life hereafter.

words. say them. read them. write them. decorate them with truth or lies, with honesty or sarcasm, with happiness or pain. because yes, they are that powerful. :)

Friday, June 20, 2008


ive been spending less time in front of the computer.

been jumpy and dragging along the golf club whenever im alone. and my phone has never been apart eversince. :(

he's back. like really back. why now? when everythings just going on fine. but would it be finer with him back? i dont know. its always been "i dont know" with him. but he seems so sure this time. so sure that i believe him. or is it because i want to believe him? confused he says. thats also what he said. do guys get confusion syndromes or something? especially concerning this issue! geez.

Ya ALLAH, im nothing without You. i beg for your help. help...

p.s: inspire me.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Saya Anak Hj. Nazri

My dad asked me the other day,

"Kaklang, nak bagi apa kat Papa utk Father's Day?"

and i couldnt answer. why? because in my head i was saying,

"Alaaa, hadiah Kaklang pun Papa tak bagi apa lagiii"

and then because of my pause, my dad asked my brother,

"Bangah, nak bagi apa kat Papa?"

"Nak bagi motor baru!", he replied.

and we laughed. (it was a joke. because of the increasing price of petrol and all. gettit?)

anywayy, only then it striked me. oh God, how selfish can i be?? all i think about is myself. its Father's Day! Father's. and yet, i think about i myself.

when i was little, i was my dad's girl. its always like that, kan? daughters with fathers.

i remember this one time, my dad asked me if i wanted to go see goats. yupp, my dad's a very kampung guy. he's always amazed with goats, cows, and all that. (he's been having this idea to have our own farm at our back yard. but till now, the only animal we own is a fat cat). so ofcourse i was delighted to follow him. i loved it when it was only the two of us. didnt matter if we were just going to go see goats at some farm.

so i got in the car with him. smiling from ear to ear. and just when my dad got the car out of the garage, suddenly he appeared. my brother, waggling his hands screaming,

"Japp! Nak ikut jugak tengok kambing!!"

and i said,

"takyah tunggu Bangah, Pa.. Jumlaa. Cepat cepat! Japgi dia sampai! Tinggal dia!"

my dad said,

"Kaklang, Papa tak penah ajar anak-anak Papa buat perangai macam tu. Biarla Bangah nak ikut sekali. Apa salahnya."

so apa lagi, merajuklaaa. all i wanted was some father-daughter time. just between me and my dad. but he thought i just wanted to let my brother get mad for being left out. but at the end, it was even fun having my brother to play with the goats. we both got his equal attention. 

my dad is a great guy. he always think of others more than himself. and that is also the reason for him to expect the same thing from everyone- especially his kids. if we keep saying, "me.. me.. me..", he would then ask about, "oh, then how was your brother/friend/etc..?" it has always been about sharing and caring about other people besides us.

so what am i giving my dad for Father's Day?

ohhh nothing.. just endless supply of respect, honour, and LOVE. ;)




Saturday, June 14, 2008

My birthday is in August

I was tagged by Kak Nad. :)

5 presents :

1. unlimited supply of books. several that im currently interested: Ahern's, Kinsella's, Sparks's, Hosseini's. *hint..hint*
2. a bag made of beautiful genuine cowhide leather.
3. a video camera!!!!
4. poem(s).
5. him.

5 reasons for the above :

1. books are my escape when im bored, sad or lonely. so whoever gives me books will make me happy! :D
2. a girl can never have enough bags.
3. so that my kids/grandkids will get to see how was i like then(now) and because i cant afford it myself.
4. because writings stay with you forever.
5. hehe. adalaaa. ;p

5 characteristics that I like in a person that I admire : 

1. beriman.
2. absolutely not self-absorbed. a good listener, and great company.
3. respects me and the people i love.
4. can make everyone feel at ease.
5. confident when giving speeches/talks in the public.

Best thing he ever did for me :
Hmmm, make me smile alllll day. :)


5 things you do when you are bored : 

1. oh daydreaming ofcors! (but i dont need boredom for this.) :p
2. go window shopping. alone.
3. read, write, read, write.
4. sms, call or BUZZ people that i shouldnt be smsing, calling or BUZZing.
5. play games. and thats when im really bored.

5 greatest inventions : (mine or whom?)

1. the Internet.
2. wafer machines.
3. boot cut jeans.
4. blogs-now everyone can get their writings published. 
5. Harry Potter series.

5 most hated :

1. green-eyed monsters and snobs.
2. being disturbed when im asleep.
3. when i see something that i really like and i have the money to pay it too but then no size or out of stock. ugh.
4. nonstop ear-aching nagging.
5. doing laundry. hehh.


5 people to be tagged :

feel free to be it, people! :D


 *ignore the font's different colours and sizes. its unintentional.

Best Answer so far

Berharap dan merayu pada Pencipta,

dapat Dia, dapat segala.

Harap pada makhluk hujung kecewa,

Harap pada ALLAH hujung bahagia.


he's sooo kind. thank you. moga ALLAH tentukan yang terbaik. :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

It's okay to be a proud Muslim

so ive been reading random blogs by clicking the "go to a random blog" button and i can see that there are so many ways that people can express their thoughts, feelings, etc through writing.  most of the blogs are from people living in the states. 10 years ago, no one would have ever thought that we could take a peek  in the lives of total strangers living thousands of miles away from us without having to steal their diaries.

its just amazing what technology can do and it would be a waste if we dont use this opportunity to widen our perspectives and be exposed to different opinions of random people all over the globe. (okaaay, i sound soo like someone that have just been introduced to the internet).

something that makes "my finding" more interesting is that muslims living in the West especially in the states and the UK take so much pride of them being who they are. even the titles of their blogs have the word "Muslimah". their writings are intended to let the world know what they have to say about their lives as a muslim living in a land where Islam is not the national religion. the muslimahs are eager to share their experiences of wearing hijabs and encountering people that ask the ever-so-popular question, "dont you feel hot being fully covered?". they share their views of issues that they have to deal by being an arts students and having to draw nude people or by being muslim parents and worrying about how the education and socialization in public schools will affect their children in the future.

their innocent or maybe not so innocent words make me think. i am a muslimah. i was borned, raised and currently living in Malaysia. the country where the majority of people are Malays. and as i say Malays, it means Muslims. Malaysians are free to practise their own religion; Buddha, Hindu, Christian, etc. but the national religion for Malaysia is Islam. we learn Islamic Education in primary, secondary and tertiary education. masjids are widely available all over the country for the comfort of solah. hijabs are anything but awkward in a malaysian's wardrobe. in fact, the last time i checked, Malaysia is known as an Islam Country (Negara Islam).

so perhaps all of these privileges of being muslims in malaysia has made us take everything for granted. it is common to solah, it is common to wear hijabs, it is common to learn about islam. there's nothing unique about it. so we dont appreciate it.

its different if we have to be the only student who has to take quick breaks in the middle of tests to perform our solah or to be the girl who receives comments like, "i notice that you always wear such pretty scarves. may i know why you're wearing it?" or to have own initiatives to search for Islam books in the internet or library or go to Islamic classes in the masjids to get to know Islam. perhaps everything would be different. perhaps malaysians would appreciate being a muslim more if these privileges are taken away from us? perhaps..

being in a country where the people are unfamiliar with our Islam practices makes us feel grateful of what we have. of how relevant the principle of making "Islam as a way of life" is and of how we could change other's lives by showing the beauty of Islam by our simple amals like giving salaam and by controlling the way we socialize between men and women.

it is nothing unsual for Malaysians to give salam to each other but in other countries, non-muslims could be fascinated of how our salaam means "peace be upon you" rather than a simple "hello". (not that im saying "hello" is bad. its nice too because its the sincere intention that counts, rite?) but its sad when things go the other way around. muslims being "fascinated" of the lives of non-muslims. wearing tubes and mini skirts because "malaysia is always summer and this is what people should wear during summer. duhh~"

muslims living in a community where the culture and environment is not mainly influenced by Islam usualy choose to be in either two conditions; 1) being a proud muslim more than ever or 2) follow the lives of the community of the non-muslims.

but the question here is, does the environment, the exposure and the community really influence how Islam we are? my answer would be yes. why? because people cant live without interacting within the community. and through this interaction is where all the "awakening" exist. whether the awakening is good or bad, it depends on which side it triggers. that is why we have to practise dakwah in our lives as muslims. to trigger each other's thinking in a good way.

but do we have to be in an environment and community where there is less exposure of Islam to be a better muslim and be prouder of being one? i dont need to tell you the anwer to that, do i? Malaysia or the United States of America, we can be proud muslims wherever we are. we have to remember its not what we show to people that makes us a good muslim but its what ALLAH can see in us without having to show anything at all. but lets not get confused here, shall we? not showing doesnt mean that we dont have to cover our aurat or perform solah or even follow the sunnah of Rasulullah SAW. that we still have to do. because we want to and because its the right thing to do. and of course because ALLAH tells us to. :)



ps: i love Malaysia :)

pss: the stalker will stop stalking now  ;p

Monday, June 9, 2008

I love peanut butter

each time there's Meet Joe Black on tv, i wont change the channel. i cant help it. i've watched it more than i should have. i have my own reasons.

anyway, i love this part.


Joe Black: I don't care Bill. I love her.

William Parrish: How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love.

Joe Black: Then what is it?

William Parrish: Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters.

Joe Black: Which is what?

William Parrish: Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.

Joe Black: So that's what love is according to William Parrish?

William Parrish: Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.

Joe Black: Those were my words.

William Parrish: They're mine now.




*oh and i think i have a stalker. creepy. :S

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Cumell tak?

introducing the new Crumbs of Me!!



Monday, June 2, 2008

What's the difference???

i didnt know that being treated nicely has to have such amazing "privileges".


and no, this time im NOT going to blame my sensitivity.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Bon Voyage?

The Prophet (pbuh) told Abu Zarr:
“ Do you get prepared when you are about to set forth on a journey?”

Abu Zarr replied:
“ Of course, o Prophet”

The Prophet (pbuh) said:
“ Well, how do you think that the journey on the Day of Judgment will be? Take heed of what I will tell you; shall I tell you what you would benefit from on the Day of Judgment?”

Abu Zarr replied:
“ Yes, o the Messenger of Allah!”

The Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Fast on a very hot day for the Day of Judgment. Offer a prayer of two units at night to be saved from loneliness in the grave. Make the journey to Qabah once in a lifetime, and give alms to a needy person for the great occasions of the Doomsday. Say just words or save your tongue from saying unjust things!”

(ibn Abi’d-Dunya, Kitab al-Tahajjud).


*pbuh: peace be upon him


My dad used to tell us, before we moved to the states, he had to pack a gazillion things; belacan, kicap cap kipas udang, spices, milo, etc. and those were just food! he had other things packed as well. so he said, each time we go on a journey, any journey, there would be things to bring because we know that we need them to survive. it would be hard for us to go somewhere for days without having our clothes, toiletries and other things, right? we would have all these things packed and kept in stock so that whenever we needed them, they would always be available for us. my dad knew, that at that time, if there was no kicap cap kipas udang manis, me and my brothers wouldnt feel like eating rice. so that would be a problem because my dad didnt want his children to eat corn flakes and bread everyday.

so its kinda the same for judgment day. our life today is a journey. where will it head to? where will this maximum 100years journey end? our life surely would not end when we lie alone 8feet under the ground right? thats just a transition in our journey. our last stop, The Destination that we are all heading to right now is- akhirat. so what have we packed so far? i dont know about you guys, but i havent even manage to fill one small luggage. again, i need to do something about that. so c'mon, lets start by stopping ourselves from saying unjust things. how hard could that be, right? ;)