Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Selamat Beramal

okay, first of all. i would like to express my jealousy to my fellow blogging friends who have the time and i must say the gift to write about the simplest things that end up making my day.

i love the way you guys organize your ideas, how you guys make everything you write significant rather than just writing nonsense babbling like what i do.

so as i read more and more of your writings, i start to feel inferior. thus making me spending less time on my blog and more and more time on yours. seems like my passion for reading overcomes my passion for writing.

i enjoy reading what happens in your lives. which is weird. because we barely even talk in the real world. but thats not a bad thing because sometimes words work better.

second, im going to start my random babbling. inferior or not. i still want to update my blog. :p i should actually be doing my persuasive speech draft right now but my hands have been itchy for quite some to type something here. the only problem is, unlike my brilliant friends, i have nothing smart, funny or informative to share.

my eid was okaay. a bit sad that ramadhan passed in a flash though. like seriously, it was the fastest month ever. too much that i wanted to do in that short month but wasnt able too. and on Raya, i was too busy being an improved anak dara, that i forgot to take photos. so i only have some bad shots of me during raya that i prefer keeping to myself. but still, i dont think its too late to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya!

during these few months, something or should i say, someone, has made me see things in a different perspective. it was difficult in the beginning to agree with what he said but as i do my random surfing on the web, i found an article that wrote something like this;

Don't try to adjust Allah's rules to suit our own comfort, interests or needs. when Allah says No, then its a No. there should be no excuses in obeying the rules of Allah. Allah will reward them who obeys Him and those who do not, will be punished.

those words were like bullets hitting my face and i had no will whatsoever to build a shield.

there are many, many, many things that i like to do that i know Allah dislikes but i still do it because i keep giving excuses to myself to make me not feel so bad. what i dont realize though is that those excuses are only making me feel better because they are strongly supported by my faithful adviser, Syaitan. but i shouldnt blame him completely because if the shield in me is strong enough, i wouldnt have listened to the excuses anyway.

a very simple example would be shopping. yes, shopping. i looooooove shopping. i love it so much that even an empty purse would fail to stop me. its not that ive never heard that the place where Rasulullah hates the most is the market as in malls. its not that ive never heard that when we go to malls, we'd have the tendency to buy things that we dont really need, people tend to lie to increase profit, people steal at malls, people wear exposed clothes that they dont usually wear at malls, people date at malls, people pray late or even not pray at all at malls. people forget Allah at malls.

but am i able to resist the Mega Sale posters along the roads? uh-uh. i make an excuse that i should spend during sales so that i could get a good bargain. but then, id end up buying more than i should because its half price. hmm, speaking about malls. there is a doa that we can read when entering malls;

"La ilaha illallah, wahdahu la syarika lah, lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu, yuhyi wa yumit, wa huwa hayyun la yamut, biyadihil khair, wa huwa 'ala kulli syai-in qadir."

to whoever that is reading this, please please please understand that what im writing is a note to myself. i have no title whatsoever to say what you're doing is wrong or what im doing is right. no no no.  i admit wholeheartedly that everyone has their weak spots in various things and who am i to judge? i am a sinful being that realizes my mistakes but continue to do so as i am weak. very very very weak. so as a weak being, i just cant control myself to write about this in my blog. read if you want to read. dont feel like it? then stop.

please please please stop misunderstanding me. i have had enough of that. my blog has been the place where i used to write whatever i felt like writing. i had very little visitors then. but it was peaceful and harmony. but now, things have changed. perhaps that is why people say development doesnt always means good. i read and reread what i wrote before clicking Publish. sometimes i just keep it in draft and leave it there.

i wonder, should i write in every post to whom my writings are intended for? im pretty sure i dont have to go that far right? my reminder though, i dont usually be sarcastic in my blog. i prefer keeping things to myself. but if things go out of hand, there would be some sarcasm. just make sure you really, really, really understand it first before accusing me of anything.

i would have never thought blogging could be as harmful as this. ive made enemies, and broken so many hearts. unintentionally. if it was intentionally, than feel free to hate me. but to those who have misunderstood me from my dumb babblings and rumblings here, from the bottom of my heart, i apologize.

wow, im surprised to see how long ive typed. kempunan untuk menulis sudah dipenuhi. :p the original idea was to express my fascination to those who have the ideas to publish several posts in one single day. you guys are just amazing. keep filling my days with your writings. :)

its almost 12am. i should really start doing my speech now. have a fun week, guys!


  1. yeyy!! azie dah update! hehe :D i dunno bout them guys..but i missed ur writings ;) dont stop writing okeh?? :D

  2. azie, i dont understand why u wanna feel inferior bcuz ur writings are so good! i am not lying, they really are! :)) i love reading them and like ur fren nad here, i actually miss to see your post. keep writing tau. oh btw im definitely going to hafal that doa you posted before i enter malls cuz like all girls, i go crazy when seeing stuff on sale :)) oh slmt hari raya azie!

  3. Azie,

    When it comes to writing a blog, u just write you feel like writing. No dire thinking needed. (sometimes, yes)

    Feel not inferior. Fear not being misjudged.
    Personally I feel my blog is like my sacred home, where I can pour everything I have in mind; especially those feelings that I can't verbalize. It's like a theraphy if you're sincere enough in writing what you had in mind. ok?

    keep on writing!
    n Selamat Hari Raya too!


  4. Nash+ Azie,

    when it comes to shopping complexes, fear not being a victim, I'm one of the victims too!


    *but a hole in the wallet usually will stop me. :P

  5. Finally azie! update jugak anda akhirnya....been waiting for u!

    waiting is tormenting, u know?

    and I thought I was the only one feeling recent posts skang buat rase nak delete jer lepas tgk blog org len...isk2....l

    Luckily, my blog visitors has somewhat decreased for the time being...maybe it's safe for me to write a tempah neraka blog post...muahahahhaa...

  6. btol ape derang cakap tu....
    *x bace blog pn

    blog is like a white silk waiting to be painted
    no matter how you paint it, it will always be beautiful
    *sometimes ugly but mostly beautiful.
    x kesah le ape org pk...
    yg penting lam blog, x perlu pk org len...

    p/s: blog kamu nmpak cam mini thesis ~ I like

  7. kak nad: alaa. ni yang terharu ni. Insya Allah kak nad.. thanks tau. :)

    nash: alaa, ni sorang lagii. bertambah terharu lah camni. tq tq. (but still i feel tiny in this blogging world) :p yaa, selamat beramal!

    moja: ohh, its so easy being you. nice people like you never get misunderstood. because they know ur nice. but i keep being misunderstood by my writings. so after several unlucky incidents, i have chosen to become more careful in writing. which i think, makes me boring.

    writing has always become my therapy but recently my writings here has caused too much negative feedback(that i choose not to make a big fuss about) and little by little, i have to admit, it has affected me.

    so yes, i shall still write. but.. hmm..

    hey, thanks though!

    selamat beramal to u too! ;)

    safwan: if i feel inferior, then its understood why. but you? no no no. your posts never fail to make me laugh hard. whenever i feel like having a good laugh, id just visit the slip of tongue, n i'd get one.

    a tempah neraka blog post? HAHA. boleh2.. just make sure you dont mean it literally. hehehe. ;)

    haziq: eh eh haziq! u've finally arrived to The Crumbs of Me. yeay! hehe. i know our blog is our blog and we're not supposed to care what people say about it. but i cant laa. i do care when people start to misinterpret what i write. because it hurts. :(

    macam thesis? hehe. glad that its a good thing for u. ;)

  8. thanks utk doa tu..
    blh la risya amalkan...
    kalu shoppin mmg laju je...