Wednesday, December 30, 2009

They're Back!
















...and they're as beautiful as ever. :')














*photos are from Mama's phone camera.







Sunday, December 27, 2009

2009



Ever wondered why 21 seems to be like the age? You know, like how your friends make a big deal out of it by having a party with a huge 21 candle on the cake or like how your parents give much more meaningful advices in their birthday wishes? Why do people want to be forever 21? Why can't it be 18? Or 20? Or 25? Or 30? Or.. Okay, I think you get the point.

I am still currently 21. And alhamdulillah( and InsyaAllah), I've still got a few months ahead of me next year to be so. But turning 21 this year was something really important for me. Actually, turning a year older has always been important for me. But this year, 2009- being 21, if I could wrap it up in a single sentence, it would be the year of realization.

Allah swt has opened my eyes in so many aspects, in so many angles that I have never realized before- that I have never really
cared to realize before. Just realizing the reason of my existence in this temporary world we live in and changing my perspectives and goals in life to fulfill the requirements, has made my life so much meaningful. I have realized what I want in life, who I want to be, and how can I provide as a daughter, sister, friend, student, and most important as Allah's swt servant. So many incidents and so many people have made me realized how this world could be a much better place to live in when there is give and take. I have realized that things don't usually go my way and I may not always get what I want and need but that there is always a reason for that. I have realized that facing disappointment, frustration, heart aches and other bad experience, would only make me a stronger person if I learn from them. I have realized that instead of sulking and getting angry at other people, I should always look back at what I have done and try in any way to make amends. Allah swt is fair and knows best and realizing that makes me calm. I have realized how amazingly giving and generous Allah swt is when I am grateful and in fact, even when I forget to be grateful, He's still there giving me so much. Ya Allah, there is not enough thank yous for You.

And so answering the question- why 21? For me, I guess it's because somewhere here, there is a starting point. I won't be forever 21 but I'm glad that one day, I can look back and smile knowing that it was a great age, a great year.

My hugest appreciation to those who have been praying for me in helping me to achieve this state of realization. There's still so much more to improve and I pray that there will be more chances to do so. Family and friends, I have never been alone. And for that, I am truly grateful. I apologize for having so little to offer. But you can count on me to include you in my do'as. Another year has arrived and whatever comes our way, friends and family, I wish you the best for duniya and hereafter. Amin. Happy new year, 2010! :)




-->
Lalu apa yang telah aku lakukan selama ini, Ya Rabb, ampunilah daku. Untuk setiap pandangan yang tak terjaga, untuk iman yang tak dipelihara, lisan yang merayu dan hati yang tak terhijab.
Ya Rabb, Engkaulah mengawasi kami setiap detik, kerana kasih sayangMu ya Allah kepada kami, Engkau perintahkanlah malaikat silih berganti menemani kami siang dan malam agar iman kami dapat dijaga.
Amin.













p/s: Papa and Mama are returning from the Holy Land tomorrow. 54 days without them. Ya Allah, I miss them like craaazy. Can't wait for the hugs and kisses of forgiveness!


Thursday, December 17, 2009

1431





Ya Allah,



Terlalu banyak Kau telah berikan padaku. Rezeki yang sentiasa mencukupi untuk dikongsi bersama orang lain, kejayaan yang Engkau redhai dan kasih sayang yang tidak putus-putus. Terima kasih, Ya Allah. Semua dariMu, Ya Allah. Terima kasih. Aku tahu aku tak layak untuk menerima apa-apa dariMu tapi Kau tetap bermurah hati berikan pelbagai nikmat padaku. Kaulah Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih, Ya Allah. Terima kasih, Ya Allah. Terima Kasih.


Moga dengan kehadiran tahun baru ini, Kau tambahkan imanku, ibu bapaku, keluargaku, rakan-rakanku dan seluruh muslimin dan muslimat yang lain dan Kau rahmatilah setiap perjalanan kami di muka bumi ini. Amin, Ya Allah.



Salam Maal Hijrah 1431.










Klik di sini untuk Doa akhir tahun yang dibaca sebelum fardhu Maghrib dan Doa awal tahun yang dibaca selepas Maghrib.


Friday, December 11, 2009

Hikmah



Case 1

Once, I saw this huge baju kelawar hanging in this shop. It was HUGE but most importantly was the length. It was loooong. Long baju kelawars are actually hard to find. Most of those that I own would be hanging a few inches from my feet. I knew that being in that baju kelawar would make me feel so comfortable. So I bought it straight away.

So there I was wearing that special baju kelawar that night. Indeed, it made me feel like I was wearing a blanket. So comfy. I loved it. I could wear it everyday. Then suddenly Mama told me that we were going to have some guests tomorrow. So, Azie/Bibik had to start working. And when I washed the dishes, I struggled to not let the huge flowy sleeves from being an extra dish washing cloth and getting soaked wet. And when I vacuumed the floor, I struggled to not let the very long baju that trailed along the floor to get sucked in the vacuum. And when my hands were trying to reach the ceiling to clean the cobwebs, the baju being so huge kept covering my face thus making me hard to see.


Case 2

I have a sink in a small part of my room. Not in the bathroom. But in my room. Yea, I know. Sounds weird. But I love that sink. I don't need to go inside the bathroom to brush my teeth or wash my face. But one day, the pipe kinda broke. And water was spilling out in my room. Remember, the sink is not in the bathroom. So the rugs in my room got wet. And I was so angry for the sink being in my room. I placed a pail where it leaked but the water was dripping so fast that it would spill every hour or so if I forgot to empty the pail. And when it did, I had to keep mopping the floor or the whole room would get wet. It was really tiring. But when the plumber came and fixed the problem and when everything was settled, I found out that my floor was squeaky clean. Actually they were shining.


Case 3

I needed to find a kain of one of my baju kurung that I haven't worn for quite some time. But as my eyes searched for it in my closet, of course it wouldn't be there. And as usual, I would say, "kalau nak guna tu, memang takdak," It's always like that. Knowing that a visual search didn't work, I knew that I had to use a hands-on method. So there I was, taking everything out from the closet to find that one kain. And to my surprise, I discovered some other things in there. A piece of paper from my diary that I guess I tried to get rid off once but was still in there. Reading it made me laugh. And a bag! I found a bag that I haven't used since I was in Form 2. I've forgotten about it. But it's so nice finding it again. I found some other interesting objects that were once a part of me. And of course, right at the bottom of all those pile of things, there it was- the kain. And my closet was just so neat afterwards that it looked like it came straight from a home designing magazine.



So what's my point here? That I'm an unorganized person who likes to wear baju kelawar day and night? Well, yeah, maybe that too. But what I really want to say is that, things happen for a reason. Hikmah. We, Muslims use that word a lot. And we should. "Ada la hikmahnya tu.." But not as an excuse but because we believe that Allah has His own way of showing or telling us things.

Some even believe that even accidents are not accidents. Yes, it was an accident but it wasn't intended to be. There's always something unaccident about it, something really certain. Something that's meant to be. We may think one thing is best for us, (like the baju kelawar) but it finally turns out to be the worst. And vice versa. We just never know.

So whatever it is that I'm going through- be it huge or simple matters, I just always have faith in hikmah from Allah. Allah knows best because He is the best of the best. We try our best and we pray that He'll give us the best but when things don't go our way, hey, it's not the end of the world. Learn from it and move on. :)



“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” -Surah Al-Baqarah(2) ayat 216.




Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Notebook II



This hols has been a bit slow for me. I've managed to refrain myself from counting the days each time I see a calendar, but I can't really stop my mind from doing calculations by itself. And so, counting makes the waiting much more dreadful. Been trying to keep myself busy but well, at the end of the day, there's always the counting.

Anywaaays, to keep myself occupied I've been burying myself in books. I've run out of
new books to read as me and my brothers have actually recently discovered that we should keep ourselves in a slightly tighter budget. So yeah, the sole reason I would be in a shopping mall right now, (yes, during this Year End Sale) is just to window shop. But knowing that when I'm engrossed in a good book, it actually makes me become less aware of my environment or more particularly the time, I still try to find something to read.

And going through the books I own, The Notebook was just like calling my name. I know that I've made a review about it before. But.. Aaa, the book is just too beautiful.
Too beautiful. I don't normally do repeats, be it books or movies. Because I like surprises and there's no surprise reading a book or watching a movie that you know what's going to happen next. But in this case, I felt like I've never read the book before.

I first read The Notebook 2 years ago, and I guess I was a different person back then. I was still melted by the sweetness of the words- being a born mushy person and all but it just amazes me to notice how different my emotions are and how I could so deeply relate myself to what Noah and Allie go through in the novel, as I read it now. 2 years older. 2 years more of.. well, experience in life. 2 years of growing and much more mature relationships.

So I just thought like sharing a letter Noah wrote to Allie in the novel with you guys. Letters. How could you not love letters? So here it is;


My dearest Allie,

I don't know what to say anymore except that I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that it is over between us. It is a different feeling for me, one that I never expected, but looking back, I suppose it couldn't have ended another way.

You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better man because of it. I don't want you to ever forget that.

I am not bitter because of what has happened. On the contrary, I am secure in knowing that what we had was real, and I am happy we were able to come together for even a short period of time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy, and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. And maybe, for a brief moment, you'll feel it too and you'll smile back, and savor the memories we will always share together.

I love you Allie.

Noah



I think it's sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. Kan? :') Oh, and good luck for tomorrow guys!




Reminder #7



Azie,

If you know that the parents of any of your close friends, housemates or relatives are away for a long time like they're performing their Hajj or are on a long vacation or something, please ask how they're doing time to time. A simple , "So, how are you?" would be nice. You know, just to show that you're there. Azie, of all people, you know how much you appreciate that simple gesture.





Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ganu






Went to Terengganu last month with Syiqin for Kak Amal's (my lovely housemate) brother's walimatul urus. Stayed at Kak Dib's ( my also lovely housemate) in Kuala Terengganu. But it rained so badly the next day that the roads heading to Besut, which is where the kenduri was, were closed. And that very night, Kak Dib's house was also flooded. See how Allah works? Me and Syiqin came to Terengganu to experience the flood and be happy helpers for Kak Dib's family. For their great hospitality, it was the least we could do actually. :)

But it was a new experience for me. Being in a place where it rained the whoooole day that it made you want to sleep allll day. I didn't really realize how sunny Penang was until I arrived there the next morning and was able to see the sun. We couldn't see the sun in Terengganu. So yea, that was new.

Thanks Kak Dib and family for the great food. We sure had our tummies full. And for being so nice. :)

And Selamat Pengantin Baru Kimi and Ani. Moga bahagia ke akhir hayat. Kak Amal, we're sorry we couldn't come. We'll come to yours nanti k? ;)









She waits.
She's good at waiting.
She believes.






Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Killer Smile






It has been awhile since I followed any Korean dramas. But the commercial for Iris kinda captivated my interest. So I tuned in to give it a try and ever since, every Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm I wouldn't move anywhere, threaten anyone who dares to change the channel and just sit in front of the TV with my heart beat racing.
The show's amazing! Action and romance. Perfect. Syiqin knows which part I love most that I will practice in the future. (hehehe)
Wish I could download it somewhere and finish watching it in a single day but then, where's the thrill kan? Takpalah, boleh sabaq lagi ni. :P

Korean drama fans, I totally recommend Iris if you're looking for something different to watch. (in the Korean drama league I mean).

아이리스! 너무 좋아요!



Iris, every Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm, channel KBS World 303.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Burger Queen



Had some meat from all the korban sedekah. So decided to cook something different for a change; homemade burger. I've seen Mama made it but I've never made it myself. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. So perhaps if your freezer is loaded with meat too, you could give it a try yourself. :)

Here's the recipe: (I don't know the exact measurement because I kinda like just added everything up. But here's the approximate measurement ok? Hehe. )

About a medium-sized bowl of ground beef
1 onion. (sliced)
2 slices of garlic. (sliced)
Some black pepper.
Some salt and sugar.
Some Italian seasoning.
About 2tbs of Worcestershire sauce.
About 5tbs of breadcrumbs.
1 egg. (whisked)

Mix all of them up. Preferably the meat with the dry ingredients first. And then add up the egg and the Worcestershire sauce. Shape them into patties with your hands. Then you cook it! I grilled it. You could also fry it if you want. Add those other extras like veggies, mayo, cheese and such to add the flavour. Oh, and I also spread some garlic butter on the buns and just lightly cooked it for awhile. You'd love the aroma. :)





Mix everything up.



Shape it into cute lil patties.


..and voila! Bon appetit!


As you can see, mine was pretty plain. Didn't have cheese and I'm not a big fan of veggies. But still, it was yummy. Happy trying! Dan jangan lupa baca doa makan. ;)





Monday, November 30, 2009

Blue Like You










Last night;

Aiman: Orang salu tanya Aiman, "Duk Penang ni, anak mami ka?" Aiman jawap, "Daklaa. Saya anak soleh."

Hehehehe Bangah and me cracked at this.
It has been 4 years here in Penang. (Going to be 5 next June. How time flies.) And the view on Penang Bridge has never failed to take my breath away. Simply beautiful. Subahanallah.


Hope you guys have been enjoying your hols. :)


Sunday, November 29, 2009

This is cute



Haven't Met You Yet- Michael Buble


I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

:)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Cecuti






Can you believe it?! Another sem has ended.
And what a busy busy sem it was.
Fuh.





Happy Hols everyone! See ya in Penang!
:)








p/s: you, take care ok.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Are You Really Happy?



Dari Abdullah bin Zubair ra. berkata: Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya Nabi saw pernah bersabda;


" Kalaulah anak Adam ini diberi satu lembah daripada emas nescaya dia berkeinginan untuk mendapatkan lembah yang kedua. Dan sekiranya diberi lembah yang kedua nescaya dia berkeinginan untuk mendapatkan lembah yang ketiga. Dan sentiasa tidak akan merasa cukup perut anak Adam ini kecuali dipenuhi dengan tanah. (Yakni keinginan kepada mengumpul harta kekayaan akan habis apabila masuk ke lubang kubur yang hanya dipenuhi dengan tanah.) Namun satu rahmat Allah swt terhadap hambaNya, dari dia mencintai harta dunia kepada mencintai Allah swt (dengannya di dunia ini Allah memberi ketenangan dan memelihara dari sifat tamak dan rakus dari mengumpul harta.) "


-Hadith Riwayat Bukhari

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Who's the boss?



A protective and caring sister who gives her baby brother advices every two minutes and voluntarily reminds him when he's driving to keep one lorry-distance from the car in front, to hit the brakes when turning sideways, and to not dare go more than 90km/h finally receives one simple line;



"Kaklang, you sound exactly like Mama."




And so she replied,



"Why, thank you. "







It's good to be in charge. :)




Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Everything




The lovebirds are off to Mecca. Renewing their Hajjs. Alhamdulillah.








We arrived late (as always) at the Kompleks Tabung Haji so this was the only shot that I managed to take.




And this one. They're so cute.






10 years ago when they first went for their Hajj, I couldn't stop crying. Today, I still couldn't stop crying.



Haji Nazri and Hajjah Faridah (see how that rhymes?), the hols wouldn't be the same without you two. But I'm grateful that Allah swt choose you this year. Alhamdulillah.
I'll miss you. :'(



Rakan-rakan, tolong doakan Papa dan Mama saya pergi dan balik dengan selamat ya. Dan juga mendapat Haji yang mabrur. Thank you. :')






Friday, October 9, 2009

P/s I Love You



8.00pm. Tika anakanda di Shah Alam menelefon Ibunda di Georgetown.




Me: Hello, assalammualaikum. Maa...

Mama: Waalaikummussalam. Ya, Kaklang?

Me: Ma buatpa?

Mama: Tengok P/s I Love You. (laughs) Tapi dah nak abih dah. Tak sempat tengok dari awai tadi.

Me: Ohh, awai dia lagi syok, Ma.

Mama: Yaka? Alaa, takpala nanti tengok lagi.

Me: Ma nak mai esok?

Mama: Takla Kaklang, Papa ja. Eh, rupa2nya mak dia ka yang bagi semua surat tu??

Me: Tak.. Mak dia tolong ja. Papa sorang ja? Awat Ma tak ikut?

Mama: Sebab Papa tak bagi Mama amik cuti. Oh!! Mak dia yang tolong pos surat2 tu ey? Betuilaa, kalau tak camna surat tu bleh sampai lewat kan? (laughs)

Me: Ha ah tulaa. Ma nanti tolong suh Papa bawakkan baju kurung purple Kaklang tertinggai.

Mama: Tertinggai? Eh? Last2 dia ngan Daniel tu ka?

Me: Tak, Maaaa. Baju tu dalam almari kut.

Mama: Ohh, ha ah. Tak jadi gak ngan Daniel. (laughs)

Me: Maaaa.




There is nothing more in this world that I want than being home with you. :'(

OMG








-desiretoinspire


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

That bag




(image: artschoolvets.com)

Monday, October 5, 2009

On studying A Thousand Splendid Suns




The Integrated Regional Information Networks point out that in 2007 "Every 30 minutes, an Afghan woman dies during childbirth, 87 percent of Afghan women are illiterate, 30 percent of girls have access to education in Afghanistan, 1 in every 3 Afghan women experience physical, psychological or sexual violence, 44 years is the average life expectancy rate for women in Afghanistan, and 70 to 80 percent of women face forced marriages in Afghanistan."






and they call that fair. Hmmph!
Islam never, NEVER discriminates women.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Questions



I feel guilty. No, I am guilty. God, its horrible. I experience that sinking feeling a lot. But this, oh this is- I don't even know what this is.

If only, there's some way, just one possible way of making this easy. My heart- its like a whole classroom of students speaking at one time. Its like the mixture of carrot, cabbage and mayo in a coleslaw. Its like almond london, samprit and batang buruk mixed all together in one cookie jar. You get me, don't you? You always do.

Why do I get excited and sad at the same time? Should I feel like that? I mean, do
you feel like that? Could I just have a peek inside to find out?

This shouldn't be so hard right? I mean, this is just me right? It shouldn't be so complicated. Its just me speaking too much to myself. I'm just worrying myself that I'm not making any sense. I mean, you're okay right? You're smiling aren't you? Yes, its just me. Silly me. You smile, I smile. Oh, with a smile like yours, how could I not?

How could anyone be created like you? I know that Allah's amazing. But you, you're just awesome. How could anyone be as patient as you? How could anyone be so kind? How could anyone put up with someone- well, someone like me? Ya Allah, thank you.

I know that I havent been the best for you. I don't even understand how you could end up being with me in the first place. I mean,
you. You're an angel. Stop saying you're not. Because you are. It frightens me what this would lead to. It frightens me to know that I'm not good enough. It frightens me to know that I have the ability to hurt you. I've never been this scared. Would you forgive me if I can't make you smile like you do? Would you?

I wonder will these questions in my head ever stop multiplying. You manage to answer them sometimes. Actually, you always do. Always satisfying me. But then new ones keep coming in and I worry- I just worry that you'll get tired of answering. Will you get tired? I could hardly imagine you ever will. But will you?

I'm praying that one day, I'm going to look you in the eyes. It'll just be me and you then. And I'll tell you every single thing that I'm feeling. I'm not going to speak in codes anymore. Nope, no more
"apa Azie cuba nak bagitau ni?". I'm going to talk talk and talk. And you'll listen listen and listen. And you're going to give me that smile of yours. And you don't even have to say anything. You just look at me and smile. And just knowing that you are there, just knowing that I can tell you everything, it'll make me the happiest person in the world. And you just wait, I'll make sure I'll return the favour. I will. Yup, that's a promise.