Sunday, December 27, 2009


Ever wondered why 21 seems to be like the age? You know, like how your friends make a big deal out of it by having a party with a huge 21 candle on the cake or like how your parents give much more meaningful advices in their birthday wishes? Why do people want to be forever 21? Why can't it be 18? Or 20? Or 25? Or 30? Or.. Okay, I think you get the point.

I am still currently 21. And alhamdulillah( and InsyaAllah), I've still got a few months ahead of me next year to be so. But turning 21 this year was something really important for me. Actually, turning a year older has always been important for me. But this year, 2009- being 21, if I could wrap it up in a single sentence, it would be the year of realization.

Allah swt has opened my eyes in so many aspects, in so many angles that I have never realized before- that I have never really
cared to realize before. Just realizing the reason of my existence in this temporary world we live in and changing my perspectives and goals in life to fulfill the requirements, has made my life so much meaningful. I have realized what I want in life, who I want to be, and how can I provide as a daughter, sister, friend, student, and most important as Allah's swt servant. So many incidents and so many people have made me realized how this world could be a much better place to live in when there is give and take. I have realized that things don't usually go my way and I may not always get what I want and need but that there is always a reason for that. I have realized that facing disappointment, frustration, heart aches and other bad experience, would only make me a stronger person if I learn from them. I have realized that instead of sulking and getting angry at other people, I should always look back at what I have done and try in any way to make amends. Allah swt is fair and knows best and realizing that makes me calm. I have realized how amazingly giving and generous Allah swt is when I am grateful and in fact, even when I forget to be grateful, He's still there giving me so much. Ya Allah, there is not enough thank yous for You.

And so answering the question- why 21? For me, I guess it's because somewhere here, there is a starting point. I won't be forever 21 but I'm glad that one day, I can look back and smile knowing that it was a great age, a great year.

My hugest appreciation to those who have been praying for me in helping me to achieve this state of realization. There's still so much more to improve and I pray that there will be more chances to do so. Family and friends, I have never been alone. And for that, I am truly grateful. I apologize for having so little to offer. But you can count on me to include you in my do'as. Another year has arrived and whatever comes our way, friends and family, I wish you the best for duniya and hereafter. Amin. Happy new year, 2010! :)

Lalu apa yang telah aku lakukan selama ini, Ya Rabb, ampunilah daku. Untuk setiap pandangan yang tak terjaga, untuk iman yang tak dipelihara, lisan yang merayu dan hati yang tak terhijab.
Ya Rabb, Engkaulah mengawasi kami setiap detik, kerana kasih sayangMu ya Allah kepada kami, Engkau perintahkanlah malaikat silih berganti menemani kami siang dan malam agar iman kami dapat dijaga.

p/s: Papa and Mama are returning from the Holy Land tomorrow. 54 days without them. Ya Allah, I miss them like craaazy. Can't wait for the hugs and kisses of forgiveness!


  1. This is beautiful, Azie.
    I learn a lot by reading this entry.

    And yes, maybe one day we can look back and smile and say:

    "Been there, done that". :)

  2. Aziz: Was just sharing as usual. But thanks Aziz and Im glad that you gained something from it.
    Exactly. With a smile. Thats important. :)

  3. azie, to be honest i want 21 to be over with. i wish next year i could be 25 and get married. kalau org lain xnak tua, fira plak nak sgt tua. tp perangai still mcm budak skolah menengah. does that make any sense? hehe.

    ps: i just realize bits of beads in ur cookie jar. yeay! thnx. :D

  4. Firra: hehehe that makes perfect sense. Tapi kan Fira, you dont have to be 25 to be married. 21/22 also can. ;)

    ps: its a pleasure :D

  5. Great post! I really love your pray, Subhanallah^^

  6. Aifa: Thank you for visiting my blog, alhamdulillah. :)