Life. How could I ever define you? Sometimes I'm just dead sure about something and sometimes I'm not. I plan things and make sure that everything's going to happen just as I plan them, but the opposite happens. And at times, I just secretly bury deep a hope, a dream, that I have forever longed for but seems so hard to achieve, and at that moment of acceptance, that wish just suddenly comes finding me. I don't think I could ever find the right words to describe my life, or even myself. But what I am certain is, life is amazing. It is, when I've really learnt to understand that Allah knows best.
I'm not saying that I've achieved that state, though I pray that I will one day. But as I learn to, and be with people who remind me of this, I just find life to be more and more peaceful. I am grateful and happy to admit that I've passed the stage of wanting to impress people with what I have or what I can do. I mean, I won't be wearing rags to the mall or something like that, but it's just that I've begun to understand that what makes me happy has nothing to do with how great I may look in front of people-- how posh my clothes are, how big my car is, how great I am at playing tennis (haha, I don't even play tennis) or things like that.
Perhaps most of you have learnt this ages ago, but this fresh piece of knowledge is new to me; impressing people does not make me happy. It just doesn't. Especially regarding the physical things. First, it's all from Allah. And second, it's all from Allah. So, who am I to go flashing what I have and take credit or worse, be a big-headed snob for being lent all this?
All of this did and have not come all at once. I have so much to learn! And for the things that I have learnt, I'm only beginning to digest it bit by bit. Such level of self-acceptance and the willingness to live life in moderation will require sacrifice and of course, much more dates with Allah. So, pray for me friends because I have a strong feeling that that's the life I want to live.
Whoever tries to please Allah (by obeying Him) and displeasing the people, then Allah will be pleased with him and He will make the people pleased with him. And whoever displeases Allah just to please the people; Allah will be displeased with him and Allah will cause the people to be displeased with him too. -Prophet Muhammad SAW.