Tomorrow the study week for my students will start. Yesterday I had my last class with all the three groups that I taught. A year ago, the same thing kinda happened. I left my first ever school students after being with them for almost 4 months. And yesterday it was with my first ever university students. After teaching them since June. So yeah, being me, my heart was making its cracking sound inside. I must learn to not get so attached. It's hard, really. After trying to relate and understand their needs for the past few months. To know all their names so well and even recognize their handwriting. To know the ones who are fluent in speaking and struggle with writing. And the ones who write so well yet are shy when speaking. The ones who create new words in their essays which makes me laugh everytime. The ones who are so obsessed with their marks. The ones who don't care at all. The ones who hide each time I call out for a volunteer. The ones who immediately raise their hands when I call out for a volunteer. The ones who would doze off. The ones who would stare wide-eyed and nod excitedly each time they understand something new. The ones who would be in class waiting with the text book opened even before the class time. The ones who would arrive 30 minutes late with swollen eyes. The ones who'd just stare blankly at me. The ones who'd stare too deep and make me kinda scared (haha). The ones who'd keep texting and check their facebook with their Blackberrys. The ones who laugh at my jokes. The ones who didn't even listen to my jokes. The ones who made me frustrated, sad, and angry. The ones who made me laugh, happy and touched. My students were such a bunch of different individuals! It wasn't easy. I spent countless nights sleeping late, searching the web and just racking my brain trying to figure out the most interesting lessons for them. You know, so that their eyes wouldn't get heavy. Or so that they wouldn't fly to lala land. I wasn't the best lecturer that they had. It was my first time, after all. But if only they know how much fun I had with them. How much I learnt from them. How much I wanted and tried to share everything I know with them. Telling them things that my lecturers didn't tell me. Telling them things that I didn't know when I was in their place but should have known. How much I really do want them to succeed. Not just by getting an 'A' but really, just really succeed in life. I just hope they do.
I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I'll miss them.