Are you hot or are you cold? Is the light too bright? Did you have enough milk? Is there a mosquito in your kelambu? To put on your blanket or not to put on your blanket? To cover just your legs or your whole body? Or leave your hands out? Is your diaper too tight or too loose? Should you wear a hat? Why are you not sleeping? Do you like baby powder on your body or do you feel fresher without it? How about lotion? Why is your poo poo green? Is my phone ringtone bugging you? Do you need a soother? Are your socks too tight? Is it the cheese? Or orange? Is minyak yu yee too hot for you? Do you like your shirt? Is the water warm enough? Why are you not burping?
I'm so new to this, I'm surprised that you still manage to give me your sweet smile. If only you could answer these questions and help ummi to take good care of you. I'm lucky to have your Opah here who has helped to make you stop crying and fall asleep many times when I fail to. And once in awhile when your Babah is here, he'd be giving you his calming 'Laailahaillallah lullaby' too. Your Pakude Aiman has surprisingly been good at dozing you off as well. I'm thankful to them and I'm sorry that I sometimes don't know what to do.. I really am trying my best though. But 'Aysha, it's okay that you can't answer all of my questions now. Just later, when you're big enough to understand all this, I'll be asking you another question-
"Do you love me, 'Aysha?"
And I sure pray, that you'd still give me that sweet smile and say, "I love you, Ummi."