You bump your head, immediately your chubby hand rises to rub where it hurts, your eyes searching for mine asking me to read the selawat and blow, and there, all the pain is gone. You smile, you stretch your legs, wanting to be placed on the floor again. And as I'm typing this, you're playing near my feet, knocking a plastic bowl with a hanger, enjoying the sound it makes, and I know.. A few minutes later, your head will turn back to me, wanting to do what I'm doing, you'll ask to come sit on my lap again. And I'll take you, because I can't ignore you. You, my baby. My baby, who I love dearly. Who grows up too fast, reminding me that the world is moving, time is passing. But you, my girl, my sweet little girl, will always, always, be my baby.
Allah has lent me you for a year now. You are one year
old young. I've been telling you this for weeks. That you're turning one. Sometimes you'd respond with a grin, just because you
see I'm grinning. But most of the time you'll just look at me and continue playing. It doesn't mean anything to you yet. But for me, it means the world.
My darling 'Aysha,
Though some people say a year is too short to say that I've learnt much. To me, this past year has been the most learning experience in my entire life. So here, I'm going to share with you what being a mom, an ummi to you, means to me.
It's waking up and going to sleep looking and thinking of you.
It's being able to shower (including shampoo hair!) in 5 minutes.
It's saying byebye to my favourite spicy food, especially sambals and any food they call gassy.
It's going out only when really necessary.
It's replacing my leather handbags with your baby bag.
It's coming home from shopping and realizing that everything I bought is for you.
It's having the ability to spot insects or any weird creatures from very far away.
It's making Google my bestfriend for answering so many questions about you.
It's cooking the best bubur nasik in town. Just tell me what flavour; chicken? anchovies? kurma?
It's expertising in sleeping while sitting.
It's reading Dr Seuss rather than Cecilia Ahern.
It's watching Barney for a whole hour.
It's being able to move and do chores around the house with the most minimum amount of sound.
It's performing solat, or more specifically sujud and at the same time balancing you who decides to hang around my neck, or adjusting myself before sujud as you sujud too or lie flat on the sejadah.
It's trying my best to not smile or break into laughter when you play peekaboo with me when I solat.
It's wanting to capture and record every little thing you do.
It's clapping my hands when I'm happy because that's what I teach you.
It's having my cookies finish sooner than they should.
It's saying only good things because you learn too fast.
It means my life is full.
It means my life is blessed.
It means I would do anything for you..
It means I want the best for you.
It means, well.. I love you.
Happy 1st birthday my sayang, 'Aysha. May Allah always, always bless you and make you the happiest person here, and hereafter. Please grow well. I love you, always have, and always will. That's a promise.
Hugs and kisses,