After postponing about a gazillion events to write about, today I'll write simply because I want to.. and also because Aysha is now busy watching Upin and Ipin helping Tok Dalang at the durian orchard. And because the husband is already fast asleep.
So it's my favourite month of the year again, and it came so suddenly that I'm quite ashamed to admit that I wasn't really well-prepared. And now that I've got a hang of it, I suddenly realize it's already halfway! Subahanallaah.. you're leaving me so soon oh Ramadhan? Again, this year, am still nursing and yet alhamdulillah, Allah has made ease everything.
This year too, my solat tarawih could be done more calmly as Aysha would be busy following me on her own pink sejadah. Her persistence would only last till the second rakaat though and off she goes with her little telekung trailing off her and she'll be playing with the things on the bookshelf. But no crying, alhamdulillah. Last year, I remember I'd perform my tarawih while anxiously knowing that she's crawling somewhere in the room, discovering something and just praying that it'd be interesting enough to keep her occupied until at least I reach my eighth rakaat. If it wasn't, you know, interesting enough, she'd cry her lungs out wanting me to take her and entertain her. But now, I could see she actually enjoys seeing me solat that long. My baby, all grown up..
I could go on and on about my daughter.... About how she's started saying real words now like "angyu"(thank you) or "moof" (move), or "tamm" (come), well they're not real words huh, but hmmm she's getting there. And how she clean up her toys after playing. How she'd listen wide-eyed to me or her babah reading her storybooks. How she can say her aliff ba ta's, and 123s. How she makes her sorry face when she knows she's done something that she shouldn't. How she reads her doa before eating. How she smiles... oh how she smiles...
To this date also, I have marked the date of my change for six months now. It has brought me so much joy, peace, and clarity of life and of who I am. I guess, the story would be mine to keep but I hope the happiness and gratitude that I feel because of it can be experienced by all the ladies in the world because truly it is a beautiful feeling.
I'm going to go check up on Aysha now. She has a time limit to watching that addictive cartoon. So I'll see you later, insyaAllah.. I hope.
May Allah grant us taufik and hidayah to perform the best for the remaining days of Ramadhan and the strength to be istiqamah with it for the rest of our lives, amin,