Friday, August 4, 2017

It's August.. already?


When my phone showed 1st August, I stared at it for awhile.. Thinking how could it has possibly been a year since my favourite month? Time, it does that to you. And so I decided I must write something before another year passes by, without me being able to reconnect with words.. and sentences.. and well, thoughts.
 It has been ages since I wrote as I usually get absorbed in my own words and everything else stays at the background, being witnesses of the letters that appear on the screen. So with the two girls around.. well, the only way for me to get absorbed is to wait for them to go to sleep. And when they do, I race with time to complete other tasks. And writing... has always dropped lower in the priority list. 
But how does a writer (self-acclaimed of course) stay distant with her passion? It's impossible, for the thought of doing it keeps lingering in the mind.. I miss writing. I miss how therapeutic it is, how it makes me become more sensitive to my emotions, how it makes me recollect memories and how reading them makes me understand myself better.
A lot has happened in these few years.. My husband, the best gift Allah swt has ever given me. Sometimes a lady like me gets carried away with emotions, but this wonderful man right here, he's my saviour. Always trying to be the best and providing the best for our family. Always bringing out the good in me. I don't know what I would do without him in my life.
And then of course, there are the two girls, my sweet little angels, my soul, my happiness. It's 8 am as I'm writing this and I'm letting them sleep in because I need to write this. Any minute now, one of them, (or maybe both!) would come walking here so I guess I should hurry up. Kaklong Aysha being the big, independent girl that she is, would understand that ummi is 'working' thus go read a book or play with her little ponies, but the little Maryam wouldn't be too understanding. At her age, the laptop is  ummi's toy that must be shared. 
I feel guilty for not making any posts about Maryam like I did for Aysha. Maryam, if you're reading this one day, I assure you this has nothing to do with the second child syndrome but it's only because ummi has gotten herself occupied with other things. My love for you is as abundant as it is for your kaklong. Now, smile for me will you? There you go. :)

My darlings, 'Aysha & Maryam. Two different personalities, two huge hearts, two totally best friends for life. And most of all, ummi's two little minis. Aysha is an amazing big sister, who I could rely on to take care of Maryam. To her, Maryam is a new friend who she guides to do things. "Maryam, you have to hold the book like this!" "Maryam, come here, let's hide. Babah dah balik!" "Maryam, you can't wear your shoes here." "Maryam, eat properly!" 
Being a big girl that she is, she's always so keen to share her things. "Maryam, here, you can have Rainbow Dash, I play with Fluttershy!" "Maryam, look.. there's bread for you." "Maryam, you can colour this, I will colour this."
And Maryam, being too amazed by this guardian angel as a sister, would follow everything that her kaklong says and does. And I do mean everything. She can't really talk yet but now that she's almost getting there, she's totally a copy of her kaklong. Too funny to watch sometimes, but yes, heart-warming too.
I really do pray that the both of you stay close till eternity. My two beautiful little girls, may Allah always protect and guide you, amin.

Now that Atuk and Opah are closer to us, we get to see them often. Almost every weekend to be exact, and isn't that just a blessing. Both granddaughters are absolutely smitten with them. Atuk though busy, would always find the time to bring them to the playground or go for a stroll with his motorcycle. Opah, well, she'd just splurge them with all the things she can buy and make them all kinds of crafts. I actually even think Maryam got this artsy side from her- always playing with paper and creating her own kind of art. 

So, yes, life has been good. Allah swt has been kind. Too kind. Too generous. Too forgiving. And I am just forever grateful. I guess this is  what's up with my life now. My family, that is my life. Would love to make my writing more organized but well, I'm just too happy that I'm at least writing something. 
InsyaAllah would try to find the time to write more often so that one day, my girls.. or future children can have a glimpse of ummi's current life. Hope my friends who are reading this are doing well too.

Till then, take care. Assalammualaikum. :)



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