Crumbs of Me

Us (Part 1)

2012-01-05T01:13:00.007+08:00

I used to dream about tonight. The lights are dim, my husband sleeping soundly while I take several minutes in my life to stare at his beautiful face. His eyes, his nose, his mouth are mine to see. And realizing that, knowing that it's not a dream anymore, is indescribable.

Two weeks have passed since Allah swt made me his wife, and I have never been this happy, this peaceful and this grateful in my whole life. On that blessed night, I was sitting behind the curtain listening anxiously to the akad, I heard my father's voice giving the lafaz akad to my husband and once his soothing voice accepted it and he said my name, tears just refused to stop. I thought I was the only one. But once I came out to salaam my husband, I could see that his eyes were red as well and I knew that the man that I was holding hands with now, will be my everything. Everything. We still ask ourselves everyday, "Is this real? Is this really happening?" And when the effects of each other pinches leave bruises, we just can't stop thanking Allah and each other. Only Allah knows what both of us went through before we achieved this union. And only Allah is the reason why we are both so madly in love now, so calm and just so, very, happy. He used to remind me before we were married that all the sacrifices then will ensure how happy we will be after we become husband and wife, and that became our motivation to put Allah first in everything. So it wasn't easy. But now, now masyaAllah, life is amazing. He's everything that I hoped for and more. Alhamdulillah.

Tomorrow we're heading to a small gateway. Just to a familiar island and a small chalet with a beach that we can walk side by side at. I have so much more to write, but looking at him tucked in so comfortably, my eyes are feeling heavy as well. I'll write again, but in the meanwhile, thank you Papa, Mama, Abangah, Aiman and the rest of my family members who have been my back bone for all this while, and friends who have been sharing the happiness and sending us your love, and whoever who's reading this who've been praying for our happiness. I'm making a special do'a for you.

May Allah bless you. :)

Tomorrow

2011-12-23T00:57:00.004+08:00

Tonight is my last night as being just.. me. Tomorrow there'll be.. us.
Us.
Ya Allah, am I dreaming?

Almost There

2011-12-18T01:45:00.006+08:00

I'm not proud about it, but you know how great I am at procrastinating, so now that the days have become a single digit, I've practically had no time at all to just sit and do nothing because there is so much to do! In fact, the whole family has been rushing here and there trying to get things done. The TV hasn't been on for more than a month, I think. Really, every minute counts.

But somehow throughout these hectic days, as I deal with things that are easily settled and some which require me to istighfar a million times first before they would finally work out, I manage to calm myself by thinking, "This is actually happening. A dream is coming true" And I hear a voice (that comes from someone who has a long beard) saying, "It's going to be okay", alhamdulillah, life's good again. One day, I'll look back and remember these moments and when that happens, I want to remember myself smiling and trying to do the best I can, and not see an image of a Bridezilla. Because that was the first thing that I vowed not to become when all of this started.

Friends and dear readers, please make do'a for us so that everything goes well and most important, that Allah bless not only our wedding but also our marriage.

Jazakallah. :)

P/s: Here are the newly weds. There was a really big dust in my eyes that day. :')

The Big Guy

2011-12-09T09:18:00.006+08:00

We're off to Kelantan. And when we return insyaAllah, my brother, my only big brother will be a husband.

Can you believe it?

Because I hardly can.

:')

Soon

2011-11-24T22:01:00.004+08:00

I refuse to count. Because.. well, I think you'd know by now. But then a short text arrived today,
"30 days left."

And my heart, it skipped a beat.

C & D

2011-11-08T22:39:00.006+08:00

Have you ever had a friend that does laundry for you? And I mean from putting everything in the washing machine to drying and folding? Have you ever had a friend that each time she goes to buy lunch, she'd text/call you first to ask if you want anything too? Have you ever had a friend that when you feel like letting your heart out, she'd be there all ears, and making you feel so understood? And when you cry and be all embarrassed, she would make you feel okay because well, her eyes are wet too. Have you ever had a friend that buys lots of fruits but specifically buys more papaya, just because she knows it's your favorite? Have you ever had a friend that when you're sleeping, she'd try her best to move and find something in the room without turning the lights on because she knows it'll interrupt your sleep? Have you ever had a friend that when you borrow her money because you forgot to bring your purse and promised to pay her back but just somehow it slipped your mind, and one day you remember it again, and tell her you want to pay for it, she would just say, "Oh, it's okay. You've paid it already."? Have you ever had a friend that always, and I do mean always ask for your opinion on anything and whatever that comes out from your mouth seems significant to her to be trusted and appreciated? Have you ever had a friend that when someone says bad things to you, she'd be there to have your back no matter what? Have you ever had a friend that when you experienced an allergy and was itching all over for almost an hour, she was there with you every second and helping you to put on lotion until you were okay again? Have you ever had a friend that when you share deep secrets and expect them to be just between the two of you, it stays exactly so? Have you ever had a friend that doesn't just says yes when invited to do something fun, but also is with you to do something more mujahadah? Have you ever had a friend that is not only a friend to you, but is actually a sister? Have you ever had a friend that when you look at her, it reminds you of Allah?

Because if you do, you'd know how lucky and blessed I feel. Alhamdulillah.

Dear Syiqin and Diana,

As we said goodbyes during our convocation last week, it kinda hit me, that we're really going to live far away from each other now. It brought me to tears but knowing that we're connected by Deen, convinced me that we'll see each other again throughout our lives. You guys have literally been with me in thick and thin, five years to be exact, and witnessed my good and lotssss of my bad. But not once, have you given up and leave. Or sulk in that matter. And to be with me, as in studying and living with me, I know, was not easy. I've learnt so much from you, more than you two can imagine. And insyaAllah, all of that will go into your pahala account. Thank you for accepting me, trusting me, and loving me. Only you two really know how I'm really like at home, so please don't share silly stories about Auntie Azie to entertain your kids one day haha. I don't really know how to say how grateful and thankful I am to have you in my life, except to just keep on praying that you'll always be happy, successful duniya and hereafter, get husbands that do the work of Rasulullah (and get married soon), and always, always be blessed by Allah. Amin.

I love you Diana and Syiqin. You're not only my classmates, my housemates, my bestfriends, my sisters, but you're also my sahabats dunia akhirat.

p.s: It's okay, I'll lose. I'm admitting I miss you guys first. :P

2011-10-20T21:57:00.004+08:00

I open my blog and I want to write. But I don't really know what to write. Soooo many things in my mind right now. So I'll just do this instead. Because it has been awhile. Found it from Nashrah and.. yeah.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
- Yes.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
- Nope, am not a cougar.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
- I can't really remember.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
- Yes, usually at older aunties.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
- There shouldn't be.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
- Haven't really heard a song today.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
- Batwings.

8. How often do you listen to music?
- Usually in the car to prevent me from dozing off.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
-Neither.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?
-Yes, I do. InsyaAllah.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
-.Depends on the people and situaton. Oh, and my mood too. But I don't think I'm antisocial.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?
- 'B' for.. 'Bantal Bucuk'? Nope, just hug it.

13. What about ‘S’?
- Nope.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?
- .Googled and it actually means 'manual cars'. Only when I was taking my license. Admire girls who can.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
- Yes, especially if they don't know me.

16. Are you going out of town soon?
- Next week, yes. For my convocation! :D

17. When was the last time you cried?
- Just now.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
- Yes.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
- Don't think I would.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
- Boy? Yes, my son would be the first.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
- Had to clean cat's pee. And it's not even our cat.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
- I think so. Not so much in front of people, though.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
- Nope.

24. What are you sitting on right now?
- A blue chair.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
- Yes. I'm blessed.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
- No, not really.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
- Big bro.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?
- Nope, alhamdulillah.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
- .Not sure. Indonesia? Oh, and this is more than a shirt.

30. Does anyone hate you?
- I hope not.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
-The only bottles I have in my room are lotion bottles.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?
- I do! Cinemax are having lots of scary movies now since it's October.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
- No.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
- I prefer not to. Then, I'd be like dead on that year or something?

35. Did you have a dream last night?
- .Yes, there was some school friends.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
- This afternoon.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
- Yes, I do. Amin.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
- Yes, I do.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- Yes, I do.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
- Yesterday was a normal day. But yeah, it was good.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
- Yes.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
- Virtually, yes maybe.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
- Uhuh.

44. What’s the best part about school?
- Friends! And talking when the teacher isn't looking.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
- Of course.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
- Ohh, those were the days. :)

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
- Yes, this is something I'm very good at. Is it healthy?

48. Were you single over the last summer?
- When's summer?

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
- It was 2009. Well, so much has happened ever since. But, life has still been awesome. Alhamdulillah.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
- You tell me.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
- No.

52. Are you nice to everyone?
- Not really. I was mean to that cat that peed. But I think I'm a nice person.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
- Uhuh.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
- Honesty is the best policy. And yes, with the right person, insyaAllah I could last for eternity.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- If I choose to, very.

56. Do you think you like someone?
- I don't think so. I know so.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘T’?
- Tok? Yes!

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
- Girls.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
- Yup. Only very close ones.

60. Do you hate anyone?
- Not really.

61. How’s your heart?
- It's beating that's for sure.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
- Yes, but I've managed to erase most of them.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
- Uhuh.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
- I don't think there is.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?
- Nope, they're naturally pink.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
- No, it won't.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
- Incorrect. Why would girls love it if their boyfriends are sad?

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
- Nauzubillah, no. Hahaha

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
- Mama.

70. How do you look right now?
- How do you look right now?

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
- Yup, and isn't that the best?

72. Can you commit to one person?
- Wholeheartedly.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
- Define everything.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?
- To the left.. To the left.. Hehe nope, I'm irreplaceable.

75. Did you wake up cranky?
- Not today, no.

76. Are you a jealous person?
- Sometimes. When I think I deserve to.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?
- Of course. One would be lonely without relationships with family, friends, etc.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
- No.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
- Oh, very much.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's Friday. So, hmmm, cut my nails. And recite the selawat 80 times after 'Asar.

81. Last person you cried in front of?
- Mama.

82. Is there someone you will never forget?
- Yup, there are many people who are permanently nailed in my heart.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
- Uhuh. And that's good.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
- Smile.

85. Are you over your past?
- Which one?

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
- I like all my best friends. If not, they wouldn't be a best friend. :)

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
- Define EVERYTHING.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
- Why would the person apologize with presents?

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
- You mean, Mama? Why would I not let her in? It's her house.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
- Hehe yes, used to.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
- Yes, still.

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
- Michael Jackson.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
- Really, what's with the kissing questions? No, nevah.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
- Yes.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
- March? Yes, very happy.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
- Why would I tell you lies? My Mama is very attractive.

97. Who do you have texts from?
- Today? Mama, Papa, big bro, Diana, Muslihah.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
- Like as in?

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
- Yes, Opah and Tok are very much older than me.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
- No one.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
- Should I?

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
- Lotsa butterflies. Purple ones.

Dear Someone,

2011-10-09T00:57:00.007+08:00

After exactly one hundred and twenty days, welcome back.

Alhamdulillah.

Teaching Update #13

2011-09-13T22:29:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow the study week for my students will start. Yesterday I had my last class with all the three groups that I taught. A year ago, the same thing kinda happened. I left my first ever school students after being with them for almost 4 months. And yesterday it was with my first ever university students. After teaching them since June. So yeah, being me, my heart was making its cracking sound inside. I must learn to not get so attached. It's hard, really. After trying to relate and understand their needs for the past few months. To know all their names so well and even recognize their handwriting. To know the ones who are fluent in speaking and struggle with writing. And the ones who write so well yet are shy when speaking. The ones who create new words in their essays which makes me laugh everytime. The ones who are so obsessed with their marks. The ones who don't care at all. The ones who hide each time I call out for a volunteer. The ones who immediately raise their hands when I call out for a volunteer. The ones who would doze off. The ones who would stare wide-eyed and nod excitedly each time they understand something new. The ones who would be in class waiting with the text book opened even before the class time. The ones who would arrive 30 minutes late with swollen eyes. The ones who'd just stare blankly at me. The ones who'd stare too deep and make me kinda scared (haha). The ones who'd keep texting and check their facebook with their Blackberrys. The ones who laugh at my jokes. The ones who didn't even listen to my jokes. The ones who made me frustrated, sad, and angry. The ones who made me laugh, happy and touched. My students were such a bunch of different individuals! It wasn't easy. I spent countless nights sleeping late, searching the web and just racking my brain trying to figure out the most interesting lessons for them. You know, so that their eyes wouldn't get heavy. Or so that they wouldn't fly to lala land. I wasn't the best lecturer that they had. It was my first time, after all. But if only they know how much fun I had with them. How much I learnt from them. How much I wanted and tried to share everything I know with them. Telling them things that my lecturers didn't tell me. Telling them things that I didn't know when I was in their place but should have known. How much I really do want them to succeed. Not just by getting an 'A' but really, just really succeed in life. I just hope they do.

I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I'll miss them.

Teaching Update #12

2011-09-12T01:38:00.004+08:00

Am tired after a very hectic yet joyous weekend. Upon returning from Kedah, the essays are quickly read and checked and even, reread. And all the tiredness is gone when seeing how much they have massively improved. I am happy. And relieved.

What a way to say goodbye, huh?

:')

Time

2011-08-19T17:15:00.006+08:00

When I was still studying.. Was. Yes, it has been awhile. When I was still studying, I used to take lots of bus rides. To move about in Shah Alam or even go to KL. And then there were the 5 or sometimes 6 hour bus rides back home to here. I usually take the night ones because I despise having to endure those long hours just sitting or sleeping uncomfortably during the day. So I take the night ones, usually at 11.30pm and make sure that I tire myself during the day so that when I really do get into the bus that night, I would eventually be able to force myself to fall asleep. It works that way.

But when it didn't, like on rare situations that I had to take the day rides because the night ones were sold out, or I had a long nap during the day and was just not sleepy enough, or if the driver was just driving too slow that I feared we'd not make it for Subuh, or if he turned on some very annoying dangdut songs loudly that even if I slept, they would bother me in my dreams, I would not be able to doze off. I'd sit there wide awake, bored to death, and look at the road. And when I got tired, I just practically stared anywhere.

So it was that one afternoon, failing to sleep, or find entertainment on the phone because the battery was dying, I looked up straight and saw the digital clock that the buses would have at the front. I usually don't trust those clocks because for some reason they're never really accurate. And I like my clocks to be very accurate. So anyway, because it was starting to get dark outside, and the bus driver didn't bother to turn on those small reading lights, the only thing that I could see in that darkness, was the clock. The red numbers were shining brightly as if asking everyone to pay attention to it. Only to it. And so I did. I stared at it looking at the red lines changing shapes into different numbers. The dots in the middle constantly blinking. And at that moment, I realized. Time.

Time moves. Just like that. The dots blinking 6o times and the number changes. And changes and changes and changes. It doesn't stop. Well, unless the clock's broken or the batteries expire. But time, it still goes on leaving us. The second that I took to type this 'A' will never return to me. It just passed and it'll not come back. I could type as many 'A's as I want, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. There. But it won't be the same with that 'A' up there. That 'A' was in the past and these A's in the future will be in the future.

I just turned 23 a week ago. 23. Twenty-three. I'm still trying to swallow this. Yes, I'm one of those people who think of birthdays as one of the hugest things in the world. I regard it so largely that I don't think other people quite get it. How could a date that signifies you have turned a year older be that significant to me? I don't think I quite get it either. But it just does. Even seeing the word 'August' brings me a certain jolt of excitement. Birthdays. I love them. And I want every birthday for as long as I live to be the best day of my life. I want to get wishes. I want to get hugs and kisses. And I want people to know that 23 years ago, an amazing woman gave birth to me. Why? Because it's mine. The day, that whole day, from 12am to 11.59pm, is my day. Do I not get to feel that way? Is it too much? Am I being selfish? Childish, in fact? Well, so be it. Because I want this selfish and childish side of me to stay so that I could cherish the fact that I'm given another year to live and to grow and to learn, and be a better person. InsyaAllah.

I love birthdays. And everyone's birthday should be special. This year, mine was. With the absence of several important people in my life. But nevertheless, it was special. Simply because Allah still gave me the opportunity to experience it. That itself is the best gift ever. Will there be more? We'll never know, will we? But as the red lines change shapes again, I just hope being a year older and please Ya Allah, wiser and more mature, I would appreciate all the people around me and be a better servant to You. Because there's nothing worse than waking up in the morning with the feeling of pure regret for letting a short yet important second pass by so lightly, so hastily.

Dear Someone,

2011-08-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

It would be 10pm over there. Maybe you're still doing your solat tarawih. Maybe you're having your supper. Maybe you're reading the Quran. Maybe you're making do'a for ummah and.. me. And us.

And for that, it's okay that you're not here.

:)

Teaching Update #11

2011-08-04T22:40:00.003+08:00

It has been two months!
Not even going to pretend. Teaching during fasting is a bit tiring.
So I load them with practices and let them do most of the talking hehe.
It's interesting to see how different groups of students from different courses relate the same task I give, to their own background knowledge.
The engineers would relate on cars, electrical things and technology that even I don't even know about.
And the master chefs would talk about various types of foods and recipes.
I learn a lot from them.
The class of females is obedient and listen to instructions well.
The class of males, besides being naughty boys that they are, is entertaining yet focused when given tasks.
The class of both males and females is usually the noisiest but also the most interactive.
Remember the teachers at school or the lecturers who could keep a stern face even when the students make a hilarious joke?
Well, I fail to be one. Sometimes I laugh more than the students.
I love the azan at the campus's masjid.
I love my students.
I love teaching.

Home

2011-07-30T23:50:00.004+08:00

Today my dad's office had a Family Day at Batu Feringhi. The food was plenty and you know how much I love beaches. It was nice. It was just really nice.

I don't know if it's me aging or it's just me being melodramatic as always, but lately I've been savoring every moment that I'm having with my family. I guess I've always been the clingy type compared to my brothers, wanting to tag along wherever my parents go. But as life evolves and just realizing that you can't turn back time, I just feel like every second is important.

I catch myself stealing glances at them; watching them eat or speak or even sleep. And besides taking lots of photos and videos, I'm just literally capturing the moments in my mind and heart. I want to remember everything. How my dad always gives us the fruit that he's peeling before peeling and eating it for himself. How my mom always smell of flowers without having to wear any perfume. How my big brother does that laugh and I would laugh hear him laughing. Or how my little brother always cook sliced sausages with omelets and save some for me.

30 years from now, insyaAllah, if I'm still here and breathing, I would want to still remember all the small things and smile knowing that Allah has given me such a wonderful life filled with amazing people. Ever since graduating, I've been staying at home with my family and it's just so nice to be really home again. I've been living away in hostels since 13 so being here with them again is just so nice. So nice, Ya Allah. Monday will be the starting of the long awaited Ramadhan, and being home to sahur, cook and ifthar together is just a blessing. Alhamdulillah.

I know that I'll be away again soon. But being with them now is just something that I'm so grateful for. They are my everything. They are my home.

Salaam Ramadhan, everyone.
Lets make every second count to bring us closer to Allah. InsyaAllah. :)

Here

2011-07-22T22:59:00.004+08:00

It's one of those nights where the memories come flashing in front of your eyes and you smile and giggle to yourself, not realizing that the tears are waiting for their turn.

Be safe. I'm here. Not far. But here.

2011-07-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

-Khalil Gibran

Teaching Update #10

2011-07-03T02:19:00.003+08:00

It has been over a month!
No longer gets lost to find classes.
Decided to not wear the name tag.
Technology and air-cond dysfunctions annoy me to bits.
But I try to act cool.
Am loving teaching BEL 120.
Students have been awesome.
Can remember almost all their names now.
Teach me not to be attached.
Impossible, I tell you.
I wish I could stay.

Reminder #9

2011-06-27T13:20:00.005+08:00

"Macam bila Azie mintak air suam, Azie akan dapat air and gelas dia sekali. Tapi kalau Azie just mintak gelas, Azie takkan dapat air sekali. Macam tu jugak, kalau kita doa untuk kepentingan dunia je, Allah akan bagi untuk kita kat dunia je. Tapi kalau kita mintak untuk ahirat, Allah akan bagi untuk akhirat and dunia. Kita tak sangka dengan just istighfar, Allah akan murahkan rezeki kat dunia. Tapi itulah Allah. Hebat kan?"

A Proud TESLian

2011-06-17T14:33:00.009+08:00

Ten years back, oblivious to what I was getting myself into, I entered a fully residential school or SBP. During the first few weeks there, I was called by the school counselor to discuss some issues. He told me to sit in front of him and the first question he asked me was,

"What's your ambition, 'Azieyati?"
"I want to be a teacher."
"A teacher? And teaching what?"
"English. I want to be an English teacher."
And what came out of his mouth afterwards was so simple yet so significant to me for it to be remembered till now. He asked,
"Then why are you here? Why are you in a Science school? You should go to a normal school."
I remember looking at his face and say, "Well, I'm here already. I'll do my best."

I have always wanted to be an English teacher. For as long as I remember. I think it was when I was still in primary school that my mom introduced me to the word, TESL. And ever since, TESL has been my aim. I've never imagined myself wanting to do anything else than teach. It was in that Science school where I realized I was different. First, the counselor made it obvious. Then, in class when my friends and I were told to introduce ourselves and tell our ambitions, I realized that most of them wanted to be doctors or engineers. And me, as usual, with a surprise face, the teachers would ask the same question, "English teacher?"

My school days were okay. I was never on the top list. But as much as I was surrounded with amazingly brilliant friends who I have always admired for owning the ability to solve equations like it was a fun crossword puzzle and actually like learning chemistry, I was.. well, different. I cringed at the thought of having to endure three hours of chemistry and physics (I actually liked biology). And add maths? Let's not even go there. But, English. Well, English made me smile. I love everything about it. And Allah being as fair as He always is, made me have that specialty. I could offer no academic assistance whatsoever to my genius friends except for English. And I loved doing it. I loved checking their essays and explaining to them how they could improve. I loved being the walking dictionary. I loved being good at something I love. I loved being special. Teaching English made me feel that way.

And so when I left the Science school and was actually given the chance by UiTM to pursue my studies in TESL, it actually felt like I was dreaming. I remember back in UiTM Melaka where I did my pre-degree in TESL and it was writing class, we got our writing text book. And flipping through the pages, I was actually beaming with excitement. "I am going to learn writing. Writing!" And then, there was speaking class, reading class, and my friends actually spoke in English with me! I get to present in English! I get to read novels, poems and even write them myself! No more science and maths! It was, for the past five years, an amazing experience.

Looking at my description here on the right, "Final year B.Ed TESL student who could write for hours as long as it's from her heart." I feel sad and relieved at the same time. Although classes have ended back in April, I've been reluctant to change it as I was afraid that my results wouldn't allow me to graduate. But alhamdulillah, Thank You Allah, last night UiTM sent good news and I must say the speedy email method is very impressive! Although it does feel sad to leave UiTM Shah Alam and my life as an undergraduate behind, life goes on. And so will the description of me.

Studying English and teaching has always been my dream and though there were ups and downs throughout the years, there has not been one second that I regret doing it. Day by day, the lecturers and the classes that I go through, not to forget the friends who have always been my side, have made me fallen deeper and deeper in love with teaching English. The knowledge, experiences and hardship have shaped me to be the English educator that I am today. I'm not sure if I'm good at it yet, since it's all so new. But am I happy? Yes, passionately happy. I'm living my dream. How could I not?

Alhamdulillah.

Dear Someone,

2011-06-12T20:07:00.002+08:00

Take care. I'll wait.

C & D

2011-06-04T23:48:00.004+08:00

C & D, I miss you guys.

to be continued.

Teaching Update #9

2011-06-04T21:07:00.006+08:00

Am teaching again. And loving every minute of it.
Crossing the Penang Bridge everyday. What a view.
Before I wore my name tag, some students stopped me to ask about directions to their lecture room.
They called me "Kak".
After wearing the name tag, they now give way when I queue for the elevator.
Am having future masterchefs and engineers as students.
I'm new and they're new. Perfect.
There are more males than females.
My age has been such a huge interest.
Can't wait for the masterchefs to cook. Been asking about it everyday.
Am the only female in one of the engineering classes.
Sometimes they still call me "Teacher".
Still trying to remember all their names. Because I want to.
They seem interested to learn English.
Am trying my best to make them enjoy English and realize the importance of it for their future.
Will give more emphasis on developing their speaking skills.
I think that would be most important for them.
Thank You, Allah for letting me do something that I deeply love.

Definite Definition

2011-05-09T21:20:00.007+08:00

Life. How could I ever define you? Sometimes I'm just dead sure about something and sometimes I'm not. I plan things and make sure that everything's going to happen just as I plan them, but the opposite happens. And at times, I just secretly bury deep a hope, a dream, that I have forever longed for but seems so hard to achieve, and at that moment of acceptance, that wish just suddenly comes finding me. I don't think I could ever find the right words to describe my life, or even myself. But what I am certain is, life is amazing. It is, when I've really learnt to understand that Allah knows best.

I'm not saying that I've achieved that state, though I pray that I will one day. But as I learn to, and be with people who remind me of this, I just find life to be more and more peaceful. I am grateful and happy to admit that I've passed the stage of wanting to impress people with what I have or what I can do. I mean, I won't be wearing rags to the mall or something like that, but it's just that I've begun to understand that what makes me happy has nothing to do with how great I may look in front of people-- how posh my clothes are, how big my car is, how great I am at playing tennis (haha, I don't even play tennis) or things like that.

Perhaps most of you have learnt this ages ago, but this fresh piece of knowledge is new to me; impressing people does not make me happy. It just doesn't. Especially regarding the physical things. First, it's all from Allah. And second, it's all from Allah. So, who am I to go flashing what I have and take credit or worse, be a big-headed snob for being lent all this?

All of this did and have not come all at once. I have so much to learn! And for the things that I have learnt, I'm only beginning to digest it bit by bit. Such level of self-acceptance and the willingness to live life in moderation will require sacrifice and of course, much more dates with Allah. So, pray for me friends because I have a strong feeling that that's the life I want to live.

Whoever tries to please Allah (by obeying Him) and displeasing the people, then Allah will be pleased with him and He will make the people pleased with him. And whoever displeases Allah just to please the people; Allah will be displeased with him and Allah will cause the people to be displeased with him too. -Prophet Muhammad SAW.

One

2011-05-02T16:06:00.007+08:00

Yesterday was a dream. Though I was wide awake.
Alhamdulillah.

Dear Someone,

2011-04-21T02:04:00.002+08:00

You are so goofy.

What It Takes

2011-04-16T02:56:00.008+08:00

Sometimes, just sometimes I think I'm the most annoying, irritating, childish, attention-seeking girl alive(with you, at least). Believe me, it is not intentional. And deep inside I worry that you notice it too. And you know, turn your back on me. But you never do. You notice it of course and I know there are times that you take a deep breath and calm yourself before saying anything to me. Not that I have ever seen you do it but I imagine you must have. Yet, you're here. Still smiling patiently and telling me everything's going to be okay. You're just amazingly amazing. You know that? You are. You accept me as I am. At my good and oh yes, at my bad. For that, and a lot of other things, I thank you. I can't imagine ever not having met you. Thank You. :')

Books

2011-04-07T14:50:00.003+08:00

A reply post of Nashrah's.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis ( I tried but..)

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis (redundant: no 33)

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (I've watched the movie!)

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Yikes, only 20! Will catch up on my reading later. Once this semester is done, insyaAllah. Wonder why aren't there any chic lits in there he he he.

Partners

2011-03-28T23:03:00.007+08:00

Allah works in such beautiful ways. Being so busy this semester has made me not be able to go back home since January. So being me, you could just imagine how sick I am. Homesick, that is. But.. alhamdulillah, for the past 5 weeks, my papa has been involved in this conference at MAS Academy, Kelana Jaya which is just 20 minutes tops from my house here in Shah Alam. So, I've been going there back and forth as my mom would come too. Yup, all the way from Penang. And little by little, my sickness has been reduced. It's incredible how meeting them for the short 2 days every week could make me feel so revived. The power of love, I guess.

I've also realized more than ever that my parents are my hugest inspiration to choose that someone who's just so worth it to be with, no matter how hard, no matter how far, no matter how tiring the journey is. To be there for each other no matter what. To smile just by seeing each other's smile. To share the jokes that only we understand. To know what each other wants even before the sentence finishes. To just look each other in the eyes and know that we are now complete. To just.. be in love for as long as we live.

Big Boss Appointment

2011-03-23T00:21:00.007+08:00

I have always had this thing lingering in my mind. I deeply, highly, truly believe men have no excuses whatsoever to not solah. At home or in this case, outside home. There's just none. None. And when I mean not solah, I actually also mean, not solah on time. Men have no excuses whatsoever to not solah on time. Yes, this has always been on my mind. Why? Here are the reasons why:

Men require very little effort in covering their aurat. They could very well wear anything that they are wearing at the time and go solah. No telekung-searching or waiting turns to use the telekung.
Men don't have to worry about messing up their hijab. So their hair is wet by the wudhu'? Comb it and they're done.
Men take so little time taking the wudhu'. They don't need to take off anything. Just go to the water source and wash their body parts. Done.
And these 3 points brings us to; Men can take their wudhu' practically anywhere.
Men don't need to re-wear anything after taking the wudhu'. They go straight off to pray.
Men don't wear makeup. Thus, no hassle in wanting to remove it before taking the wudhu'.
Men are men. The ones who Allah has chosen as Imams of families, the ones who'll guide his wife and children, the ones who should be the strong one. Spiritually I mean, not just physically.

So I keep thinking, if I were a boy, I could easily escape from something for barely 10 minutes or less to solah on time and noone would even notice. Too easy!
Sooo, yeah. That's what I think. You know how I think. It's never completely right but I just keep thinking about this whenever I have that someone whispering to me of the 1001 obstacles for me to not solah on time when I go to the mall or wherever. It could be, "but they don't have enough telekungs here" or "but the telekungs are so dirty" or "but I'm wearing eye-liner and I forgot to bring makeup remover so after taking the wudhu' my eyes would be all smudgy" or "the wudhu' place is not proper so I have to go to the toilet and take it there" and other petty things that would make me think that it's okay to solah once I reach home which would be incredibly late. Believe me, these old fellas know how to persuade.

But then, I keep on reminding myself what this kind auntie once told me, if we have set an appointment with someone, from a huge company and we know how important that meeting is for us, wouldn't we be ready outside the the person's door for at least 20 minutes early? Wouldn't we want to make a good impression and not make him wait for us? So this is our Lord we're talking about. He chooses certain people as his ambassadors to call out the azan, calling everyone to "hayya 'alal solah, hayya 'alal fallah" (let's solah, let's achieve success) 5 times a day without fail, and yet we ignore Him. Suddenly our watches or punctuality isn't significant for our appointment with The Boss of all Bosses. Even after He keeps saying that if we do it straight away, we'll get success. We think other things are more important like watching a movie or talking to a friend or eating than answering Allah's call. Or worse, petty petty things like not having the telekung or worrying about smudgy eyes. And we wonder why we never achieve success.

For the points up there, I highlighted why men should never exempt themselves from solah. But it doesnt mean that women should. It's just that I think Allah made it easier for men and as for women, we were given those challenges because Allah knows that we're just too awesome and we would easily face them. Allah knows best.

Telekung problem? Always bring a pair in your car. Or what I do is, I bring a pair of thick socks wherever I go. At least if the telekung's not available, there's always my hijab and the socks would cover my feet.

Makeup? Hmm, bring a small bottle of makeup remover with you. But I have always loved ladies who embrace their natural beauty that shines within.

Other problems? Where there's a will, there would always be a way, right? Allah would never ever make things difficult for us. And besides, it's to achieve success. Who in the world can offer a better trade? :)

P/s: As usual, just felt like sharing this self-reminder. Do remind me when I forget ya, friends? That's all me up there. ;(

2011-03-20T15:12:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday.

:)

The Beavers

2011-03-19T01:43:00.007+08:00

It all started with this:

Which resulted into this:

Every final semester, the B.Ed TESL students have to take up a course named Personal Development (PD). And one of the course requirements is to organize a seminar/conference with invited speakers. Each group organizes one seminar. There are 4 groups for Part 8 and ours was the second; B group but we call ourselves The Beavers. In order to get the speakers to deliver a speech at our seminar, we need to find a fund for renting of venue, payment of speakers, etc. So that's where the FundFair came into the picture. We had a two-day fair and sold all sorts of things. (Why are my sentences so formal? Blame AE.) Me? I was the tokey buku. I sold novels at a ridiculously cheap price. I've always wanted to own a bookstore and be surrounded by thousands of books so yeah, it was an awesome experience. Alhamdulillah, our FundFair managed to collect more than enough money which leads us to the seminar.

Finally, 12th March 2011 was our day. The Beavers were in action again. We did a conference on Branding Youths and we had such amazing speakers that I'm still at awe till today. We had Jezmine from Old Blossom Box, Hana Tajima from Stylecovered, Mazliana Mohan, Roslan Bakri, and Fynn Jamal. Such interesting individuals with unique insights. I was quite busy during the whole process and only managed to capture a few photos with Hana. She's a doll, by the way. And so down-to-earth! But the other speakers, especially Fynn Jamal was mesmerizing as well.

My sentences up there are so unlike me to be written in Crumbs of Me that I think I could just copy paste them for the written report to be submitted soon. Anyway, to tell you the truth, I'm sad that we're done. We've accomplished it so well, alhamdulillah. Yet, we're done. We've worked so hard from Day 1 and The Beavers have grown to be so close that I'm just.. well.. kinda sad that it's over. Who would've thought that in one day, I could meet all those amazing people. And it's for PD! Nothing big. Just a course requirement. But, wow! All thanks to You, Ya Allah. You've eased everything so much and made everything so.. achievable. It's never a waste to work so well with other people. To be respectful, helpful, and committed. The Beavers have been so extremely committed that we're like one happy family helping each other out for a kenduri kahwin. Like Apiz kept saying, she was a wedding planner. And I kept saying to myself, I was the bride.

From the Beavers FundFair to the Branding Youthself Conference, it has been an honour working with all the amazing beavers. And as for me, I'm just thankful that I'm one of them. :)

Hearts Talking

2011-03-15T23:53:00.005+08:00

I saw her. She went outside. I followed. I saw her practicing and talking to the lady cleaner. She's a nice person.

She was at the back. I looked at her. She was far. I moved closer. I looked at her. She was crying. I decided not to bother her just yet. She's a nice person.

She looked calm now. I stood and walked right up to her. I shook her hands. Such soft hands. I said something. Our eyes met. She smiled. I smiled. She's a nice person.

She went upfront. She was different. She was real. She's a nice person.

She was at the back again. I looked from afar. She was talking and laughing. I waited till she was alone again. She saw me. I went closer. I shook her hands, again. Those soft hands. Our eyes met, again. We didn't really say anything. She smiled. I smiled. Our eyes were suddenly full of tears. She's a nice person.

I'll do that thing you told me to do. Why? Because you're a nice person. :')

Simply Pretty

2011-03-10T22:47:00.006+08:00

Back in 2009, blog-hopping as always, I stumbled upon this beautiful lady's blog. More particularly, this post with that picture over there. How simple yet lovely she looked. How subtle her make up was and how she looked so naturally beautiful. I have always been a fan of simplicity, you see. So I adored her then. And now that she has created her own wave and become one of the most famous and inspiring fashion designers for girls here in Malaysia, I adore her still. Especially that simplicity part.

So do you know how excited I am to get to meet her soon? Nope, you cannot even imagine.

P/s: Hana, beware. I'm gonna hug you.

2011-03-08T23:32:00.001+08:00

You wouldn't believe how good I am at procrastinating.

Inspired

2011-02-28T23:06:00.006+08:00

I know it's only the first paper.
I know that I got carried away with my points (as expected).
I know that this would only mean that I have to do better next time.
I know that it's not even a perfect score.
But Sir, I don't care.
To be in your class is a privilege that I would be forever grateful.
And to get your recognition, Ya Allah, you don't know what it means to me.
I promise I won't waste this opportunity.
Sir, thank you.

Super Senior

2011-02-24T02:06:00.003+08:00

Tonight, I have chosen to chillax (cool word, huh?). Assignments are killing me softly but then again, being a master procrastinator as I am, I'm going to wait till it's near deadline to work on it. Lazy? Naah, I just have other priorities.

Nevertheless, I'm gonna write something about assignments tonight just to ease the guilt. At least I'm thinking about it, right? So, anyways, sometimes when I do my assignments I like to look at others work to get inspiration and kinda develop my points from there. It's not plagiarizing. It's inspiration-seeking. And sometimes I spend too long in this inspiration-seeking stage that I end up being tired to complete my assignment and leave it hanging. So I've changed that habit, complete my work first-- write whatever that comes through my mind. And then, go find inspiration and add up wherever necessary. It saves up so much time!

So what I've discovered lately is that, after only finishing my work and go read others work, I've suddenly realized how beat-around-the-bush kind of writer I am! I mean, I know the question is stated clearly; "In a direct and clear essay, explain bla bla bla.." It says 'direct'. And there's a reason why lecturers put that word there, so that students wouldnt go wasting their time with irrelevant points. I could almost imagine my lecturers now reading my paper and saying, "What the heck is she talking about? Get to the point already!" (Okay, my lecturers don't speak like this. This is me exaggerating.)

So I try, I do, I try to just go straight to the point and deliver my facts and opinions. But.. it's just not fun and pretty. I like pretty writings that make you feel as if you're on air. The words float you and you're just up there smiling and feeling all.. well, airy. But I guess it doesn't work for research papers, journal reviews, and factual assignments like that, huh? It doesn't quite work for Literature papers, either. It may seem more tolerable but I guess it gets tiring after awhile for the lecturers, I mean.

It's my final semester. Been doing okay so far alhamdulillah, but to tell you the truth, completing my AE has not been a joy. Give me 10 novels to read or 10 movies to watch and let me write a review. Let me read children's poems all day or make me create poems myself, I will. Just not finding facts and research, facts and research. God, help me. :/

I guess the only motivation that has kept me moving is the fact that it's almost over and I want to leave with a huge smile on my face. So yeah, I need all the do'as I can get. My prayers are for all of you too. Don't hesitate to share your work with me. You'll get to be my inspiration. How's that for an offer? ;)
May Allah help us ease this journey. Amin.

Queen

2011-02-21T02:11:00.008+08:00

Guess who made all those beautiful things up there? Me? Why, thank you for your kind thoughts. But no, it's my amazing Mama lah. :D

They're beautiful aren't they? Just in case you're wondering, it's bookmarks, tissue case, little kittie toy, calendar header, another type of bookmark (there's a name for it. I can't remember), and a cute drawstring bag up there. Oh, and the other photo is a file cover. Creative, right? I wish I had her artsy side and dedication.

Anywaaay, I'm putting all these photos here not because I'm selling them or anything, but to just share with you how amazing my Mama is. It's her birthday today. She's amazing everyday but on this very special day, well, here it goes.

She's beautiful.
She's awful at saying "No."
She cooks the yummiest spaghetti, nasi goreng, cekodok.. (the list continues)
She laughs at my every joke no matter how lame they are.
She says "thank you" when I do a simple job like vacuuming the house.
She says "sorry" when she is late picking up the phone.
She's too kind.
She's funny.
She's my no. 1 supporter.
She's the reason I love reading.
She's the reason I love writing.
She's the reason I love sewing.
She never turns down a beggar.
She's too nice with people at the counter.
She's her students' most favourite teacher (mine too).
She listens to me.
She buys things in twos, always one for me.
She's my best friend.
She's a huge part of how I am as I am today.

Dear Mama,

I've told you this before and I'll tell you again. Of all the things Allah has given me, there is nothing I'm more thankful for than having you. May you always stay happy and be happier as the day goes by. Thank you for everything that you've sacrificed. Nothing I'll do would be enough to repay them. You'll always be my No. 1. Mama, I love you.

Promoter

2011-01-26T21:20:00.005+08:00

So Allah swt gave her something. And it has been amazing owning it. She would spend hours exploring and playing with it. Yes, you can play with it. And she's not really a fan of games, but boy does she like to play games now.

Anyway, it hasn't been her intention to go around showing it to everyone but somehow people have been noticing. And when people see it and ask about it and ask to look at it, she would happily give it to them. She shows them this and that. And tells them how cool the thing is. Because it is. At least she thinks it is. And somehow, people just instantly fall or it. Perhaps, she's good at convincing. Or perhaps because she actually loves the thing so much and wants to share the excitement she has towards it with everyone else. At least to anyone interested in it. She actually wants everyone close to her to own it too. You know, so that they can share the excitement together.

But now, now that practically everyone that has asked her about it has been so excited to own it because of her indirectly 'promoting' it, she starts to ponder.

Has there been anything else in her 2o something years living that has caused people to be so easily convinced and persuaded? Has there been anything that she promotes and shares about that has made people so excited to own it themselves? Has there been anything that she says at least that has made people think about before they sleep and just want to change their lives because of it? Has there been anything at all that has made people remember it and seek her to ask about it just by looking at her face! Has there?

She starts thinking. If only, she has the ability to do da'wah and share with people the greatness of Allah and Islam just by talking about it. There's too much to show as a proof. There's endless of things to talk about. There's too much praises to be awed about! And yet, she never tries. She talks about things like that thing she owns. A thing that one day will become useless and practically perish and turn into dust.

She starts thinking wouldn't it be nice if people look at her and just somehow remember Allah? Wouldn't it be nice if she could infect her excitement towards achieving jannah with everyone that she talks to? Because she very well wants everyone to be happy, if not more, happier than her. And what would be more happier than being close to Allah and achieving jannah? Perhaps it's because the excitement in her isn't really there. She rarely talks about it nor does she shows how much she wants it. She hasn't really done much to achieve it either. So how could it be reflected from her?

She understands she has a loooong way to go. And she prays she has the time and opportunities to really strive for what she really wants. That huge mission in life. She's striven for a lot of things before but this is THE mission. She must do her best to do it. And if along the way, somehow it affects others, alhamdulillah. At least, she knows that she's not just good at promoting a lifeless thing.

Teacher Update #8

2011-01-25T23:11:00.001+08:00

I miss my students.

I Will

2011-01-14T19:19:00.010+08:00

They're dry now. Hopefully they'll stay so.
If this makes you happy, I'll do it.
If this is what you want, I'll be there.
If this makes you show that thing I love so much about you, I don't mind.
If this is the price I need to pay, I'm willing.

If this makes you stay, I'll sacrifice.

Why?
Because you're worth it.

1.1.11

2011-01-08T18:35:00.006+08:00

He's never afraid to say what he thinks.
He's always been rooted to the ground in whatever he does.
He's never ever lazy.
He's committed in everything that he does.
He moves everywhere in a flash of a second and yet never complains or gets tired.
He cooks the most amazing dishes whenever he has the time.
He serves the food right on our plates.
He's never afraid to praise someone he thinks deserves praising.
He calls me "pandai, rajin, anak yang baik."
He shows his love.
He thinks of me every time he sees papayas, cempedak, air kelapa or any other food that I like.
He buys me presents whenever he goes for trips.
He has an eye for jewelry and fabric.
He's always thinking of how to be a better muslim.
He's a huge part of how I am as I am today.

One day, he did something so nice, so thoughtful and so selfless that I told him,

"Thank you, Pa for your kindness. Only Allah can repay everything. You will always be my idol."

and he replied,

"Only Prophet Muhammad saw is qualified to be our idol. What I did was nothing. You'll always get my blessings."

..He's my most favouritest man in the whole wide world.
And he's my Papa. Alhamdulillah. :')

Happy 52nd birthday , Papa.
May Allah grant you everything, everything that you deserve. No one deserves it more than you. :)

2010

2011-01-08T17:30:00.005+08:00

January: Well hello, Part 6! The busiest semester yet!

February: Got closer to my passion. Bought the Nikon D3000.

March: Shopping haven. Went to China & HK!

April: Went to the Dean's List dinner. Bye bye Semester 6!

May: Semester hols. Serenity at home sweet home.

June: Semester 7 begins. Hello practicum!

July: I'm Teacher 'Azieyati. And I only speak English hehe.

August: I turned 22. And Muslihah was my present.

September: Eid Mubarrak. <3

October: My big bro graduated. Immediately hired as an engineer.

November: 3 months of hols! Wife/mom-to-be practice begins! :P

December: Pulau Pangkor with family. Beautiful.

2010 was amazing. Being 22 was amazing. Life is amazing. Allah swt is the utmost amazing. Alhamdulillah.

May 2011 bring more amazingness that I can always learn from and be grateful for. You have given me too much, Ya Allah. Too much. And for that, I vow with each day that comes, I'll try to be the best for You. Amin.

Happy New Year, 2011!

Teacher Update #7

2010-12-26T23:48:00.001+08:00

I miss my students.

Sisters

2010-12-15T00:33:00.004+08:00

photos from waaaay back. :')

Have I told you that I have the best housemates in the whole wide world? If I haven't, I'm telling you now. I do, they're the best. But you know how our lives change and we move on to achieve a better future? Well, two of my housemates have graduated and so they're not going to live with us anymore. :( But to celebrate the good 3 years we've spent together and for their future success, I'm making this special post for them- my very own sisters; Kak Amal and Kak Dib. :)

Dear Kak Amal,

Did you know that the very first day I arrived at our house, I was dead nervous? We didn't really know what to expect. But you greeted us with the warmest smile and made us feel as if we were a family already. I've always loved talking to you. We could speak about the most random things and yet it seemed to be so interesting. You have that infectious laugh that makes other people happy just by looking at you laugh. It wouldn't hurt also that you're beautiful. I still remember you telling us that you don't plan to marry early. But hey, look what's happening now haha. I am so happy for you, Kak Amal. Being such a kind, caring and genuine person, you really do deserve the best.

Dear Kak Dib,

For some reason, whenever I say your name I keep wanting to add the 'comel' at the end. "Kak Dib Comel" hehe. Perhaps it's because you really are comel. :) I'm not going to lie, my first impression of you was that you are so garang. But very soon after, I found out that you are the most manja person ever! Thanks to you and your cute car, we've had the opportunity to explore beyond Section 17 yet always resulting us to come back and have our dinner at Candle. :P And thanks for teaching me to dab on some body lotion on breakouts because it does work for our skin type, doesn't it? Haha. Thank you for being so sweet, generous and simply adorable, Kak Dib.

I will miss both of you tremendously and the time that we had together will always be in my heart. I'll make sure my kids would grow up hearing stories about you and perhaps we could pair them up later. :P Thank you so much for being wonderful seniors and housemates. I could not wish for anyone better than you two. I wish that Allah grant you the best in the future- marriage, work, and basically life as a whole. In my heart you are not only my housemates but also my sisters. Kak Amal and Kak Dib, I love you.

Ainun

2010-12-14T11:35:00.004+08:00

i. contact lens. ii. papa's geeky glasses. iii. extra large Rayban's. iv. my current glasses. v. mama's frameless glasses.

I have been near-sighted ever since I was 13. The very first among my siblings to inherit the trait from my father. (Now, all three of us wear glasses. Well, actually the whole family). I think it's because I read a lot cewah. Anyway, it started with a harmless prescription of 125 where I still had the privilege to choose whether I want to wear them or not wear them. Today, about 9 years later, if I choose to not wear my glasses, all I would be able to see are splashes of colour and moving ghosts. I'm not complaining. I'm grateful that Allah still grant me eyesight and the creation of contact lens. But having said so, I kinda miss the feeling of not having to grab my glasses the minute I wake up or even being able to look myself at the mirror at a certain distance without having my glasses on. I've tried eating carrots and vitamin tablets for the eyes. Oh, and I even tried Permata Hijrah. Maybe I didn't ate them right because nothing has changed. And as for contact lens, well, I wouldn't say I'm the hugest fan. But I guess they're okay when they don't get too dried up that I feel as if they're pulling my eyes out. The one thing I love about being poor sighted is that I appreciate my eyes more than ever now; too afraid to stare too long at my lappy or read in the dark. And another thing is, my glasses actually help to cover my puffy eyes and dark circles! So yeah, not all is bad. :)

But just in case, to those out there who are going through the same road with me, if you've tried something that has improved your eyesight, do share. Oh, and please don't suggest Lasik surgery. As much as I'm wishing for it, I don't have the bucks just yet.

P/s: If you're wondering if I purposely edited the photo so that my face would somehow expand. You're wrong. It's the hols.

2010-12-09T14:22:00.003+08:00

How I've missed writing in here. The internet has been on and off for the past several weeks but alhamdulillah today (and please for the next several years), I'm sensing it would stay good. So I'm, doing this post so that at least I wouldn't regret not doing one just in case the internet disappears again.

I know that the hols would pass by quickly, it always has. But I guess that's life. The things that you love- the moments, the people, they just kinda leave you wanting more. And being human, you just always want more. And when you've got more than you need, suddenly you just can't stop wanting more and more because you've gotten so used to it. Wow, how did I suddenly get into this.

Anyway, my hols has been fine. The regular stuffs happening everyday. But alhamdulillah, to our joy, our house has been blessed with so many guests lately. Guests bring barakah so we are really grateful. We haven't really gone on a vacation, my father being really busy by the end of the year but then again, I've always been so attached to the house and more specifically my room anyway. Been watching lots of TV. And I've kinda made up my mind that perhaps there will be no need for a TV for my own kids. Too risky. Will have to discuss this later with the boss of the house. InsyaAllah.

The Islamic Hijrah year has just started and I hope it brings more good beginnings to everyone. I've never really been the type to write a new year's resolution. But I guess this year, I'll be focusing more on performing my best in my last semester as a TESL undergraduate and hopefully graduate with a first class degree, insyaAllah. Then, well, we'll see what happens. Knowing that Allah knows best, I pray that He'll keep something special in store for me.

Will write more soon. A more meaningful post, I hope. Till then,

Salam Maal Hijrah 1432 and do enjoy the remaining days of hols. :)

Dear Someone,

2010-11-16T02:32:00.004+08:00

My eyes are heavy, yet I'm here in front of this screen not being able to sleep. I keep thinking of the future. I keep thinking of you. As guilty as I am my heart returns to you. Shall there be a chance for me to talk to you, I'm not quite sure what would I say. I mean, what would I not say. There's so much catching up to do. So much to share. So much to laugh about. So much to cry about. Till the time comes, I'll be here. Not far. But here. Enough for me to smile and hopefully make you smile. If I come your way, it's okay if you can't say hello. In fact, it's okay if you don't even notice me. Because somewhere in the little part of your body called the heart, I know that's where I am. And though at times, I crave for more. I know, that this should be enough. For now, that is.

Symptoms

2010-11-02T14:01:00.023+08:00

When your favourite dish seems tasteless,

When the slightest resemblence from a stranger makes you cry,

When all you pray about is for time to quickly pass by,

You know that the end is near.

....for a new beginning awaits..

2010-10-04T12:13:00.007+08:00

Please please please 3 months, pass away sloooowly for I know the semester ahead will be a rough one.

In the meantime, have fun with your family, everyone!

Happy hols!

My 4 Beta

2010-09-23T23:46:00.009+08:00

My dear 4 Beta students,

so you've been here all along huh? If only I knew earlier, I would write here everyday to ask you to hand in your persuasive speech! ;)

4 Beta,

as I'm typing this right now, I still can't get myself to stop smiling. Your cute and adorable faces keep appearing in my mind and it makes me sad to know that starting tomorrow, all I have will be these images.

I was supposed to deliver a speech during the farewell party but somehow, I was lost for words. Just seeing all of you gathered there, everything excellently planned and ready was just, overwhelming. So would you forgive me for only being able to repeat a thousand 'thank yous'? I was speechless. Here, I'll make it up. This is for you guys. Imagine me giving this as a speech. :)

4 Beta,

Since I accidentally read about your little reminder on the board regarding my farewell party, there was a big lump at my throat realizing that it's near; bidding farewell is getting near. Yet, day by day I manage to make myself enter your class with a normal smile, trying to shove away the thoughts of not being able to talk and talk and talk with you guys until suddenly the bell rings and Nazrin calls out everyone to stand and say thank you. And oh, not to forget the stretching of my name, "Thank you, Teacher Azieyatiiiiiiiiiiiii." Oh, how I'll miss that. :( You know what? I suddenly realize I havent said enough thank yous to all of you. 4 Beta, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. :)

3 months, how time flies. It's funny how I could still remember the very first day entering your class and your faces showed a kind of curiousity that made me think, "Hey, will I be okay here?" Then we started to get to know each other. On that very day, I saw your smiles. And I couldnt help it, I was hooked.

The days after were a joy. I wonder sometimes do I bring the same joy as much as you guys bring to me? I hope I did. Because no matter how exhausted I was, somehow all of you provide me the will to go on. And that, my students, makes my every effort worthwhile. :)

Although sometimes I have to admit all I want to do in your class is have fun. Listen to your jokes, laugh together and perhaps share my own lame jokes. You know, just hang around. But I remind myself, I'm the teacher and being one, I hold the responsibility to make a difference. My main aim was to make everyone love English, see it as an enjoying subject that you can explore in so many ways; games, reading, writing, spelling, interviews and my favourite, role plays. Being good in English doesn't requires you to force yourself to do something you don't like doing. There are so many ways for you to explore the language. It could be through movies, songs or even video games. Find one that you like and take advantage of it so that you can improve in a certain way that you prefer. :)

Talking about having fun, I sure had a blast during your drama presentation! As I look through the photos now, I still glow with pride. I felt like telling everyone there, "Look! Those are my students up there! My students!" You guys made me so proud. The convincing acts, the hilarious script, the colourful and creative props, the smooth flow on the stage and of course, the amazing team work that I have always admired from you, 4 Beta. Have I ever told you that you guys are the ones who inspired me to come up with the idea for the competition? And now, I'm so glad to say that I wouldnt regret any second of it. No matter what number you will get, I know that all of you deserve a great applaud. Congratulations, 4 Beta! :)

The week has ended and as much as I want my life as a student back, it's hard to leave my life as a teacher when I have students like you. I know I'm the luckiest teacher ever to be sent to your class. How innocent I was to think that you wouldnt realize the small little things that I did for you. You have shown me appreciation much more than I have ever shown you. And that has made me even sad to leave. Your cooperation in every class, your "Hi, teacher!" accompanied with a huge smile outside class, your farewell party that was just too sweet to handle, your presents- oh my, your lovely presents! I love each and every one of them. (I literally let them lay beside me as I went to sleep last night hehe. And I read your wishes in the cute pink book about 5o times before I fell asleep!) I promise you, I'll keep them till forever. Thank you for everything, 4 Beta. :)

I hope I could stay there with you and continue helping you in some way or another. There's nothing more than I want than to see my students succeed. You're entering Form 5 in a few months and that would be the year to give your all out. I was serious in wanting to know about your ambitions but perhaps you could share that with me some other time. By 16 (or 17 for Yew Kin hehe), you should know what you want in your future. You should determine what do you like doing and what are your interests so that you could create an aim. Once you know what you want to achieve, it would be easier for you to create your study path in college. Sit down one day and think about your future. What and who do you want to be. What do you want to do in life. Have an aim, my students. And try your best to achieve it. I know, I believe each and every one of you will be amazing people. Amazing people. Best of luck, 4 Beta! :)

When I'm old one day and all of you would be successful people and living a great life with your family, I hope there could be at least one thing that I said in the short period I was with you that would make you look back to your life now and realize how fortunate all of you are. I hope you could always be grateful and always stay respectful and kind. It would be hard for me to ever imagine you turning into any other people than kind ones, but still, you should always remember this. I was inspired by how close and how well you work together as classmates and friends. It shows how sharing the similarities rather than differences bring unity. You know what? As much as you say I inspire you. You guys are the ones who have inspired me. :)

4 Beta, once you let an English teacher write, she would normally face difficulty in stopping. :P Thus, I should end my 'speech' now. The truth is, there are not enough words to show my awe to you for being so appreciative, so kind, so respectful and so sweet. I will truly miss you. I'm missing you already. ;'( Thank you, thank you, thank you, my ladies and gentleman in 4 Beta! You call me teacher, but actually, you are the ones who have taught me so much. 4 Beta 2010, you will always be a part of me. I promise! :')

Together

2010-09-05T22:59:00.005+08:00

I sincerely believe weddings shouldn't be the time, event or place to display how wealthy you are. It should be about sharing the joy with your loved ones and celebrating the unification of you with your spouse. And because the relationship should always stay under Allah's blessings, I believe the ceremony of finally uniting you together with your soul mate should also be according to Allah's preference- which is to not burden yourself with things you can't afford to impress others. Someone asked me, "Isn't it important to be happier after the wedding ceremony than just during the ceremony?" I believe what he said is completely true.

Thus, my future husband,
I want ours to be simple. As long as you're by my side. I'd be the happiest girl alive.
:)

Chocolate Bar

2010-08-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

Tom goes to Uncle Bob's grocery store every weekend. His mom sends him to buy bread, flour, cooking oil, some eggs, and sometimes Tom gets to buy anything he wants for himself. As long as it doesnt costs more that RM2. He was delighted.

Uncle Bob knows Tom very well now. They greet each other and make small talk. Uncle Bob knows that Tom is a good kid. Sometimes he gives Tom special discounts and Tom would have extra money to buy something for himself. Sometimes he would get to spend RM4.50 for anything he wants. Instead of just buying one chocolate bar, he could also get a bottle of apple juice. Oh, what joy! Tom knows that Uncle Bob is a good man.

A few months has passed. Tom's mom had lost her job. They can't afford as much food like they used to. Instead of sending Tom to Uncle Bob's store every weekend, Tom's mom can only afford buying the grocery once a month. Tom craves for his visits to Uncle Bob's store. He misses the chocolate treats.

A few months has passed, Tom's mom had manage to collect some money to buy some grocery. So she sent Tom to Uncle Bob's store. But instead of the usual amount of money with the extra RM2 for Tom, Tom's mom said,

"I only have enough money for what we really need. Please spend wisely, Tom."

Tom understood what his mother meant. No more chocolate bars. So he went to Uncle Bob's store. And bought what his mom told him to buy. But when he passed at the chocolate alley, he stared at all the colourful and tempting chocolate bars. It was as if they were calling his name. His saliva dripped to the floor. He wanted one so bad. So he took one. And put it in his pocket.

When Tom went to the counter, as usual Uncle Bob greeted him, "Hey there, Tom! It's been awhile since I saw you here. How's your mom? I hope everything's well."

"We're okay. Thanks for asking, Uncle Bob." Tom was sweating. He quickly put all the items on the counter and paid. Except for the chocolate bar. It was still in his pocket.

"Alrighty Tom. You go on home now. And here, have this chocolate bar. I know how you love it." Uncle Bob smiled.

"But- but I don't have any more money, Uncle Bob." Tom didnt dare look at Uncle Bob's face.

"Nah, it's okay. Take it. You're a good boy." Uncle Bob was still holding the chocolate bar and handing it to Tom.

With tears in his eyes, Tom took it. And went home. He now had two chocolate bars. That night, he couldnt sleep. How could he? Guilt took over him. Uncle Bob has been so kind, generous and giving. And yet, here he was, stealing from him. That night, Tom cried to sleep.

So what's up with the story? Just felt like writing one, I guess.

Been thinking;

Like Tom with Uncle Bob, when Allah has been so kind and given so much, how could we still dare to sin?

At least Tom felt guilty and perhaps would return the chocolate bar as soon as he woke up the next morning.

But do we really repent on our mistakes or do we act like everything's okay? How could anyone, anyone breathe in the air that Allah has provided and not feel the slightest guilt for doing things that Allah has warned not to do. I bet Tom would feel awfully ashamed of himself. He couldnt even look Uncle Bob in the eyes. I bet Tom would say sorry and Uncle Bob would forgive him. Because Uncle Bob knows that Tom is a good boy.

And because Allah is most forgiving, He would forgive too. But only when we ask for it. But do we really, really ask for it? It's now the month of endless rewards, of forgiveness and freedom from nar. Let's try our best, shall we? Because Allah has given so much; health, enough food on the table, great family and friends. So why not we do our part? Be grateful by following His commands. Live life with no burden of guilt. Be happy because Allah is happy. It's never too late. Let's start now. InsyaAllah. :)

Ramadhan, don't leave me ;(

Teacher Update #6

2010-08-27T15:15:00.002+08:00

I'm observation-free. Alhamdulillah.
Still feel should make every lesson interesting. For the sake of students.
They know what WWF is. (No, it's not World Wrestling Federation) Impressive right?
SPCA too! I had to google to find what it stands for.
Our not-so-little project has been approved by Puan Pengetua. Yeay! Can't wait!
Find myself stealing glances at them when they don't notice. To capture the memories in my heart.
Keep wondering what would they look like when they grow up.
Bet my Form 1 students would grow up tall. I'd be the one who would have to look up to them hehe.
My Form 4 students would grow up being very lovely, nicely-mannered ladies and handsome gentlemen.
I know they'll be amazing people.
Feel guilty. Shouldnt be this attached.
Can't help it. They're too sweet.
:(

I pretend like I'm not sad to leave them. They somehow found out that I'm leaving soon. I wonder how. Oh! And they found my Facebook too.I'll approve after I leave. Not now. Not yet. :( I have less than 10 days (minus the hols) with them. I'm going to appreciate every moment.

I think someday they'll find my blog too. Students, if you're reading this. You actually just had a peak at my heart. Hope it doesn't shows too much at class. I try to be professional. You guys make it hard though, being too kind and sweet. Hope we'll keep in touch once I'm no longer there. Once I'm no longer there.
aaaa sedihnyaaaaaa :(

Teacher Update #5

2010-08-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

Am going to miss my students.
Sometimes think been teaching my form 1 students Creative Writing instead haha. They write their own rhyming poems and fables! Amazing!
Am going to miss my students.
I panicked. My form 4 students calmed me down. Shouldn't it be the other way around? They're awesome.
Am going to miss my students.
Excited with our own little project. Hope everything will turn out okay.
Am going to miss my students.
They know I'm near-sighted. They said I look old. Will not wear specs ever again haha.
Am going to miss my students.
Constructed test paper for Form 4: Rational Cloze on 'Eclipse' and Info transfer on 'K-Pop'.
Am going to miss my students.
Marked their papers right after the test. Anxious.
Am going to miss my students.
They don't really know my time with them is almost ending.
Should tell them.
But don't feel like I can.
I'll miss every single being. Every naughty, reluctant, rebellious sweet cute little beings.
Students, Teacher will miss you. Will you miss me? ;(

Alhamdulillah

2010-08-13T21:55:00.001+08:00

Today, is my favourite day; the blessing Friday.

Today, is my favourite month; the blessing Ramadhan.

And today, as my life continues with another new number, I pray that all the people who had been, have been and will be a part of me will always be blessed by Allah swt.

Ya Allah, thank You for everything. Everything. Alhamdulillah.

Family and friends, thank you for making me feel like I'm your favourite person on my favourite day.

May happiness and continuous blessings be with all of you for life and hereafter. Amin. :)

Such a cakey birthday this year. Yumm! ;)

2010-08-09T21:26:00.001+08:00

Ahlan wasahlan, ya Ramadhan!

I've missed you!

:D :D :D

Teacher Update #4

2010-07-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

Gets hungry very early. Rarely misses breakfast. Wow.
Is amazed at what the word 'trampoline' can do.
Relief classes have been increasingly manageable. In certain circumstances, the fierce look always wins.
Been using the disciplinary teacher's name an awful lot.
Have dealt with students having a; cut at the face, sprained wrist, sprained ankle and bleeding mouth. Boys being boys.
Still wonders where do the kids learn all the curse words.
Still wonders if they even know what those words mean.
Enjoys reading students' writings. Always make me smile and laugh.
Shared a big secret on being a good writer. Guess what?
Have always believed one's writings reflects the person. The belief has developed.
Sometimes feels like telling the students to write essays everyday hehee.
Have understood that class right after P.E requires more attention-grabbing activities.
Have learnt a word or two of Mandarin and Tamil. On their part, they're learning English, of course. And a bit of, well, Korean. ;)

Will spend the weekend with family! Thank you, Allah. :)

Black Beauty

2010-07-24T00:38:00.001+08:00

Atam,
please be good and tell Papa, Mama, Bangah and Aiman that I miss them.
Oh, and please don't make that face. Of course I miss you too!
:*

Lots of love,

Your very homesick neck-scratcher.

Dear Someone,

2010-07-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

You will never know how much you mean to me.

You are my; ______________ (I can fill up a gazillion things here and it'd still not be enough to describe my gratitude to you.)

But I thank Allah the most for your prayers. Because I know I'm always in it. And that- that just makes me stronger than ever.

I can't read the future. So can't you. But however it'll be, I pray that you'll be there. And I'd still be in it. Your prayers, I mean. At least 5 times daily. Like how you're doing it now. The only difference would be, well, my name.

Teacher Update #3

2010-07-17T16:01:00.005+08:00

Eats cookies whenever there's time spared.
Has started to show fangs.
Plays games during reliefs. Make them much quieter.
Been observed twice by Mentor and once by Supervisor. Alhamdulillah, my students are the greatest.
Been thinking of proposing a Drama Club. Inspired by my students excellent acting skills.
Wish had recorded their role-plays. They were amazing.
The younger kids have still been a great challenge.
Got the chance to meet students' parents for school's Open Day. A great experience.
Still gets lost in finding classes. Relief ones, I mean.
Falls asleep very easily every night. Usually would dream of students.
Fails to wake up late on weekends.
Still can't believe it's already a month.
Being at school reminds me of my school. And everyone in it. SMSTSP, I miss you.

Anyway, here's the first photo taken of me with my girls. :)

Teacher Update #2

2010-07-02T21:32:00.006+08:00

I remember the smiles.
I remember the shoutings of "TEACHER!" accompanied with a huge grin across the corridor.
I remember the wide eyes full of excitement.
I remember the gaping of awe.
I remember the shy "thank yous" as a result of never being acknowledged.
I remember the pink blush when been given a loud applause.

..and the pain of dealing with very (and I do mean very) unpleasant mannered children during Relief classes start to fade away.

I sympathize, I empathize. Little innocent children like that should not own that much hate. Should not own that much rebel. Where do all the anger come from? I want to help. But they don't let me in. Little, little innocent souls. Why? Why are they like this? Little innocent souls shouldn't be like this. They should embrace life. Be happy, have fun, smile, laugh. Not fight, argue, smash things in front of my face to show how much hatred they have for teachers like me. Teachers who want to help. Why? Little innocent children, you're going to be the future generation. The leaders of my children. Why? ;(

Am trying to stay positive. Hope you guys are too. :)

Teacher Update #1

2010-06-26T20:37:00.006+08:00

So here it goes:

Out on the road by 6.15 am.
Been given Relief classes during ROS. Lots of them.
Have entered classes that will be teaching.
Will be teaching one class of Form 1 and one class of Form 4.
Have done ice-breaking.
The ice broke well. I like my students. A lot.
They used to read storybooks when I think they're not looking. English ones. Thick, English ones.
When I tell them, "You can ask me anything you want." One of them said, "Teacher, you mean, like 'how many stars are there in the sky?"
They LOVE vampires. Oh and werewolves too.
I asked them "how do you differentiate between those two?" Their answers included, "werewolves have hair in their insides."
I love calling out their names. They have very nice names.
I love how they look at me.
I love how naughty they are.
I love how curious they are.
I love how easily excited (get noisy) they are.
I love how brilliant they are.
I get excited every morning to meet them.
They make me forget how tired I am.
They inspire me by being such interesting individuals.
They remind me why I wanted so bad to do TESL.
They remind me why I wanted so bad to be a teacher. Yes, a teacher. :)

How are you fellow teachers doing? Having as much fun as me, I hope. :) Anyways, hope it's not too late to wish all of you GOOD LUCK! :D

Partners

2010-06-20T22:04:00.007+08:00

You know why I love my mama so much?
Because she makes me the best things. Like this;

The cutest bag ever. It's specially made for the becoming Teacher Azie. :)

And you wanna know another reason why I could never stop loving her?
It's because she married this awesome man;

My Papa. He completes her.

Thank you, Mama.
And,
Happy Father's Day, Papa.
My love for you will never fade. It only gets bigger.

Comfort

2010-05-27T01:07:00.006+08:00

Rain and Greens. A perfect combination.

Subahanallah.

Reminder #8

2010-05-21T20:21:00.004+08:00

Whatever you do, do it only and only for Allah, not anybody else. Because Allah always appreciates and rewards. But humans, well humans just forget.

Idol

2010-05-09T01:12:00.005+08:00

Thank you Allah for choosing me and my brothers to be in this beautiful lady's tummy.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama.

I love you.

2010-05-06T18:43:00.002+08:00

"I love you."

"That's the problem. I love you too."

-Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

The Best Part

2010-04-24T23:38:00.005+08:00

You know how they say, "I'm a _________(any body part that you love most) person"? It's like when they look at someone, it's that one part that attracts them the most.

Well, I think I'm a smile person. I love looking at people smile. I love the transformation of the mouth- the widening of the lips and the appearance of the teeth. It's like there's this infective feeling of fulfillment, of contempt that makes me bedazzled. And I mean that literally. Sometimes when someone smiles so perfectly it just makes me stop thinking for awhile. I'd just look at that smile and not breathe. How does that happen actually? Beats me. Around me there's so much perfect smiles that reminds me that life is just too beautiful to be given a frown in return.

But I forget to smile sometimes, when I feel like I just want to mind my own business and not have to bump into anyone, I imagine being the only human being alive and everyone else is just invisible. Just me. So no need to smile. But life's not like that. I'm not alone. And I'll never be alone.

A perfect smile for me is all about its imperfection. It kinda reminds me that hey, (s)he's just human. I love how someone could smile so wholeheartedly and so sincerely that you could almost see how his/her heart is screaming, "You make me happy."

And to top all this, to just realize, how beautiful Islam is, that giving a smile is considered as charity. Oh, how I love Islam.

:) :) :)

The Odds

2010-04-11T22:59:00.004+08:00

Tahukah anda, beberapa minggu lepas saya dengan agak random, telah melawat beberapa photoblog. Kebanyakannya tentang perkahwinan. (Saja suka-suka. Untuk mengkaji teknik-teknik mengambil foto. Jangan buat konklusi ya). Dan beberapa gambar telah menarik perhatian saya dan disimpan dalam hard disk otak saya. Beberapa hari selepasnya, saya, Diana, dan Syiqin telah pergi ke Port Dickson. Dan alangkah terkejutnya saya apabila dalam tempoh 'percutian' itu saya terserempak dengan dua pasangan yang saya telah lihat dengan jelasnya dalam gambar-gambar kahwin tersebut, pada tempat dan masa berbeza. Mereka ini saya cam sangat kerana salah satu pasangan tersebut, suaminya berbangsa Cina manakala isterinya Melayu. Pasangan satu lagi pula kerana, isterinya berpakaian sangat simple pada hari perkahwinannya dan dia kelihatan sangat ayu dan cantik. Jadi, saya benar-benar pasti meraka itu adalah orang-orang yang saya lihat dalam photoblog. Sudah pasti lah, mereka tidak mengenali saya, tetapi saya rasa seperti hendak pergi kepada mereka dan bercakap sesuatu. Mungkin, "Eh, I saw your wedding photos the other day!". Tapi mungkin mereka akan tersilap faham bahawa saya adalah stalker yang mengikut mereka ke tempat berbulan madu. Jadi, saya hanya terkejut dalam hati sahaja.

Terdapat tiga kesimpulan yang saya dapat buat dari insiden ini;

Pertama: Dunia ini sungguh kecil. Tetapi manusia suka mengagungkan dunia. Rasa seperti ia adalah segala. Lupa bahawa alam akhirat yang sebenar-benarnya luas, menanti di sana.

Kedua: Takdir. Jika sudah ditakdirkan ketemu, jauh atau dekat, lama atau sekejap, pasti akan bertemu juga. Allah yang Maha Kuasa sudah tetapkan segala, manusia yang kerdil tiada kuasa.

Ketiga: Mungkin Port Dickson merupakan tempat yang menarik untuk berbulan madu.

Only One

2010-04-10T02:52:00.003+08:00

Take Me

2010-04-06T17:23:00.006+08:00

The worst thing that assignments can do to you, besides not getting enough sleep, having break outs and be exhausted is; it makes you miss your loved ones. Badly.

I want and need to go home (or go to Indonesia or India).

2010-03-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday.

:)

At least

2010-03-19T14:59:00.007+08:00

...I came back. In one piece too. (Alhamdulillah)

..and I wouldn't trade the memories for anything in the world. Anything.

A Few Mins Ago

2010-03-06T03:50:00.005+08:00

For you, you and you.

2010-02-28T01:19:00.006+08:00

Why, hello there. Yess, Crumbs of Me is apparently still alive. Been visiting my friends' blog and only noticed how long I havent posted anything when I see those blog updates at the sides. It says I havent updated for 5 weeks! Wow, it has been awhile, hasnt it?

So, for an update I shall post something that I have been meaning to do almost a month ago but havent really had the time, I guess. (Am I really that busy??)

During these past few weeks, there has been birthdays of some of the most important people in my life. So this post will be for them. :)

19th January 2010

Eversince we clicked 9 years ago, I just could not stop loving this girl. I mean, look at that smile. How could you not be melted? Muslihah Zainon, you're such a nice person inside and out. You're the best friend anyone could ever have. And although I havent always been there for you, you have always, always, been there for me. I miss you tremendously and can't wait for our next date. I love you, Darling. And I always will. Happy 22nd Birthday, sahabatku dunia akhirat.

15th February 2010

Diana was my first TESL friend way back in Malacca. And one of the earliest questions that she asked me was, "SPM dapat berapa A?" hahahaha funnyla Diana ni. Diana, queueing behind you wasnt a coincidence, we were destined to be friends and I have to say, I'm proud to be your friend. Happy 21st Birthday, Diana. (syokla tu umur kita sama sekarang hehe). Oh, and jangan lupa baca that vampire book we bought you! ;)

21st February 2010

And recently, was my beautiful Mama's birthday. Papa sempat beli kek sebelum anak-anaknya pulang ke sekolah masing2. How sweet. And look at the length of Papa's speech on the cake hehe sangat comel. Mama, I love youuuuuuu. You're the coolest Mama ever. You're such an amazing person, so patient, so tolerant, and just simply a wonderful mother. You're my No. 1 supporter and I know that if it wasnt because of you, there's too much that I would miss in life. Nothing in this world would be enough to make up for all that you've done for our family. I promise, I'd always be your No.1 fan. (okay, maybe No.2 because Papa's No.1).
Happy 49th Birthday, Mama yang sangatku cintai.

Moga kalian semua sentiasa dirahmati Allah swt dan berjaya dunia akhirat. Amiin.

Where the heart is

2010-01-22T14:54:00.006+08:00

I miss waking the Anuaruls up for subuh.
I miss cooking and getting everything ready on the table by the time they come back from the masjid.
I miss sitting together and read the ta'lim.
But most of all,

I miss the people in that house.

:'(

3 more weeks ! Oh, cepatlah berlalu!

Waiting

2010-01-16T02:43:00.006+08:00

I think it's amazing how two different people could be separated by a willing distance, by the risks of communication, by a promise-- yet still share the same thoughts and feelings.

I think it's called chemistry.

Everyone celebrates your birthday

2010-01-01T14:30:00.007+08:00

Dear Papa,

I have never stopped being amazed by you. You have been a great example to me and our family of someone who always work hard to have the best of both worlds. If I were to list out all the things I admire about you, it would be endless. So as for today, I'm thanking Allah for creating someone so special.

Happy 51st Birthday, Papa. I love you.

They're Back!

2009-12-30T21:38:00.010+08:00

...and they're as beautiful as ever. :')

*photos are from Mama's phone camera.

2009

2009-12-27T22:57:00.012+08:00

Ever wondered why 21 seems to be like the age? You know, like how your friends make a big deal out of it by having a party with a huge 21 candle on the cake or like how your parents give much more meaningful advices in their birthday wishes? Why do people want to be forever 21? Why can't it be 18? Or 20? Or 25? Or 30? Or.. Okay, I think you get the point.

I am still currently 21. And alhamdulillah( and InsyaAllah), I've still got a few months ahead of me next year to be so. But turning 21 this year was something really important for me. Actually, turning a year older has always been important for me. But this year, 2009- being 21, if I could wrap it up in a single sentence, it would be the year of realization.

Allah swt has opened my eyes in so many aspects, in so many angles that I have never realized before- that I have never really cared to realize before. Just realizing the reason of my existence in this temporary world we live in and changing my perspectives and goals in life to fulfill the requirements, has made my life so much meaningful. I have realized what I want in life, who I want to be, and how can I provide as a daughter, sister, friend, student, and most important as Allah's swt servant. So many incidents and so many people have made me realized how this world could be a much better place to live in when there is give and take. I have realized that things don't usually go my way and I may not always get what I want and need but that there is always a reason for that. I have realized that facing disappointment, frustration, heart aches and other bad experience, would only make me a stronger person if I learn from them. I have realized that instead of sulking and getting angry at other people, I should always look back at what I have done and try in any way to make amends. Allah swt is fair and knows best and realizing that makes me calm. I have realized how amazingly giving and generous Allah swt is when I am grateful and in fact, even when I forget to be grateful, He's still there giving me so much. Ya Allah, there is not enough thank yous for You.

And so answering the question- why 21? For me, I guess it's because somewhere here, there is a starting point. I won't be forever 21 but I'm glad that one day, I can look back and smile knowing that it was a great age, a great year.

My hugest appreciation to those who have been praying for me in helping me to achieve this state of realization. There's still so much more to improve and I pray that there will be more chances to do so. Family and friends, I have never been alone. And for that, I am truly grateful. I apologize for having so little to offer. But you can count on me to include you in my do'as. Another year has arrived and whatever comes our way, friends and family, I wish you the best for duniya and hereafter. Amin. Happy new year, 2010! :)

Lalu apa yang telah aku lakukan selama ini, Ya Rabb, ampunilah daku.
Untuk setiap pandangan yang tak terjaga,
untuk iman yang tak dipelihara,
lisan yang merayu dan hati yang tak terhijab.

Ya Rabb, Engkaulah mengawasi kami setiap detik,
kerana kasih sayangMu ya Allah kepada kami,
Engkau perintahkanlah malaikat silih berganti
menemani kami siang dan malam
agar iman kami dapat dijaga.

Amin.

p/s: Papa and Mama are returning from the Holy Land tomorrow. 54 days without them. Ya Allah, I miss them like craaazy. Can't wait for the hugs and kisses of forgiveness!

1431

2009-12-17T17:08:00.014+08:00

Ya Allah,

Terlalu banyak Kau telah berikan padaku. Rezeki yang sentiasa mencukupi untuk dikongsi bersama orang lain, kejayaan yang Engkau redhai dan kasih sayang yang tidak putus-putus. Terima kasih, Ya Allah. Semua dariMu, Ya Allah. Terima kasih. Aku tahu aku tak layak untuk menerima apa-apa dariMu tapi Kau tetap bermurah hati berikan pelbagai nikmat padaku. Kaulah Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih, Ya Allah. Terima kasih, Ya Allah. Terima Kasih.

Moga dengan kehadiran tahun baru ini, Kau tambahkan imanku, ibu bapaku, keluargaku, rakan-rakanku dan seluruh muslimin dan muslimat yang lain dan Kau rahmatilah setiap perjalanan kami di muka bumi ini. Amin, Ya Allah.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1431.

Klik di sini untuk Doa akhir tahun yang dibaca sebelum fardhu Maghrib dan Doa awal tahun yang dibaca selepas Maghrib.

Hikmah

2009-12-11T22:32:00.011+08:00

Case 1

Once, I saw this huge baju kelawar hanging in this shop. It was HUGE but most importantly was the length. It was loooong. Long baju kelawars are actually hard to find. Most of those that I own would be hanging a few inches from my feet. I knew that being in that baju kelawar would make me feel so comfortable. So I bought it straight away.

So there I was wearing that special baju kelawar that night. Indeed, it made me feel like I was wearing a blanket. So comfy. I loved it. I could wear it everyday. Then suddenly Mama told me that we were going to have some guests tomorrow. So, Azie/Bibik had to start working. And when I washed the dishes, I struggled to not let the huge flowy sleeves from being an extra dish washing cloth and getting soaked wet. And when I vacuumed the floor, I struggled to not let the very long baju that trailed along the floor to get sucked in the vacuum. And when my hands were trying to reach the ceiling to clean the cobwebs, the baju being so huge kept covering my face thus making me hard to see.

Case 2

I have a sink in a small part of my room. Not in the bathroom. But in my room. Yea, I know. Sounds weird. But I love that sink. I don't need to go inside the bathroom to brush my teeth or wash my face. But one day, the pipe kinda broke. And water was spilling out in my room. Remember, the sink is not in the bathroom. So the rugs in my room got wet. And I was so angry for the sink being in my room. I placed a pail where it leaked but the water was dripping so fast that it would spill every hour or so if I forgot to empty the pail. And when it did, I had to keep mopping the floor or the whole room would get wet. It was really tiring. But when the plumber came and fixed the problem and when everything was settled, I found out that my floor was squeaky clean. Actually they were shining.

Case 3

I needed to find a kain of one of my baju kurung that I haven't worn for quite some time. But as my eyes searched for it in my closet, of course it wouldn't be there. And as usual, I would say, "kalau nak guna tu, memang takdak," It's always like that. Knowing that a visual search didn't work, I knew that I had to use a hands-on method. So there I was, taking everything out from the closet to find that one kain. And to my surprise, I discovered some other things in there. A piece of paper from my diary that I guess I tried to get rid off once but was still in there. Reading it made me laugh. And a bag! I found a bag that I haven't used since I was in Form 2. I've forgotten about it. But it's so nice finding it again. I found some other interesting objects that were once a part of me. And of course, right at the bottom of all those pile of things, there it was- the kain. And my closet was just so neat afterwards that it looked like it came straight from a home designing magazine.

So what's my point here? That I'm an unorganized person who likes to wear baju kelawar day and night? Well, yeah, maybe that too. But what I really want to say is that, things happen for a reason. Hikmah. We, Muslims use that word a lot. And we should. "Ada la hikmahnya tu.." But not as an excuse but because we believe that Allah has His own way of showing or telling us things.

Some even believe that even accidents are not accidents. Yes, it was an accident but it wasn't intended to be. There's always something unaccident about it, something really certain. Something that's meant to be. We may think one thing is best for us, (like the baju kelawar) but it finally turns out to be the worst. And vice versa. We just never know.

So whatever it is that I'm going through- be it huge or simple matters, I just always have faith in hikmah from Allah. Allah knows best because He is the best of the best. We try our best and we pray that He'll give us the best but when things don't go our way, hey, it's not the end of the world. Learn from it and move on. :)

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” -Surah Al-Baqarah(2) ayat 216.

The Notebook II

2009-12-09T22:54:00.008+08:00

This hols has been a bit slow for me. I've managed to refrain myself from counting the days each time I see a calendar, but I can't really stop my mind from doing calculations by itself. And so, counting makes the waiting much more dreadful. Been trying to keep myself busy but well, at the end of the day, there's always the counting.

Anywaaays, to keep myself occupied I've been burying myself in books. I've run out of new books to read as me and my brothers have actually recently discovered that we should keep ourselves in a slightly tighter budget. So yeah, the sole reason I would be in a shopping mall right now, (yes, during this Year End Sale) is just to window shop. But knowing that when I'm engrossed in a good book, it actually makes me become less aware of my environment or more particularly the time, I still try to find something to read.

And going through the books I own, The Notebook was just like calling my name. I know that I've made a review about it before. But.. Aaa, the book is just too beautiful. Too beautiful. I don't normally do repeats, be it books or movies. Because I like surprises and there's no surprise reading a book or watching a movie that you know what's going to happen next. But in this case, I felt like I've never read the book before.

I first read The Notebook 2 years ago, and I guess I was a different person back then. I was still melted by the sweetness of the words- being a born mushy person and all but it just amazes me to notice how different my emotions are and how I could so deeply relate myself to what Noah and Allie go through in the novel, as I read it now. 2 years older. 2 years more of.. well, experience in life. 2 years of growing and much more mature relationships.

So I just thought like sharing a letter Noah wrote to Allie in the novel with you guys. Letters. How could you not love letters? So here it is;

My dearest Allie,

I don't know what to say anymore except that I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that it is over between us. It is a different feeling for me, one that I never expected, but looking back, I suppose it couldn't have ended another way.

You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better man because of it. I don't want you to ever forget that.

I am not bitter because of what has happened. On the contrary, I am secure in knowing that what we had was real, and I am happy we were able to come together for even a short period of time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy, and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. And maybe, for a brief moment, you'll feel it too and you'll smile back, and savor the memories we will always share together.

I love you Allie.

Noah

I think it's sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. Kan? :') Oh, and good luck for tomorrow guys!

Reminder #7

2009-12-09T14:06:00.032+08:00

Azie,

If you know that the parents of any of your close friends, housemates or relatives are away for a long time like they're performing their Hajj or are on a long vacation or something, please ask how they're doing time to time. A simple , "So, how are you?" would be nice. You know, just to show that you're there. Azie, of all people, you know how much you appreciate that simple gesture.

Ganu

2009-12-06T00:34:00.005+08:00

Went to Terengganu last month with Syiqin for Kak Amal's (my lovely housemate) brother's walimatul urus. Stayed at Kak Dib's ( my also lovely housemate) in Kuala Terengganu. But it rained so badly the next day that the roads heading to Besut, which is where the kenduri was, were closed. And that very night, Kak Dib's house was also flooded. See how Allah works? Me and Syiqin came to Terengganu to experience the flood and be happy helpers for Kak Dib's family. For their great hospitality, it was the least we could do actually. :)

But it was a new experience for me. Being in a place where it rained the whoooole day that it made you want to sleep allll day. I didn't really realize how sunny Penang was until I arrived there the next morning and was able to see the sun. We couldn't see the sun in Terengganu. So yea, that was new.

Thanks Kak Dib and family for the great food. We sure had our tummies full. And for being so nice. :)

And Selamat Pengantin Baru Kimi and Ani. Moga bahagia ke akhir hayat. Kak Amal, we're sorry we couldn't come. We'll come to yours nanti k? ;)

2009-12-06T00:13:00.019+08:00

She waits.

She's good at waiting.
She believes.

Killer Smile

2009-12-02T22:16:00.005+08:00

It has been awhile since I followed any Korean dramas. But the commercial for Iris kinda captivated my interest. So I tuned in to give it a try and ever since, every Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm I wouldn't move anywhere, threaten anyone who dares to change the channel and just sit in front of the TV with my heart beat racing.
The show's amazing! Action and romance. Perfect. Syiqin knows which part I love most that I will practice in the future. (hehehe)
Wish I could download it somewhere and finish watching it in a single day but then, where's the thrill kan? Takpalah, boleh sabaq lagi ni. :P

Korean drama fans, I totally recommend Iris if you're looking for something different to watch. (in the Korean drama league I mean).

아이리스! 너무 좋아요!

Iris, every Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm, channel KBS World 303.

Burger Queen

2009-12-01T15:51:00.010+08:00

Had some meat from all the korban sedekah. So decided to cook something different for a change; homemade burger. I've seen Mama made it but I've never made it myself. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. So perhaps if your freezer is loaded with meat too, you could give it a try yourself. :)

Here's the recipe: (I don't know the exact measurement because I kinda like just added everything up. But here's the approximate measurement ok? Hehe. )

About a medium-sized bowl of ground beef
1 onion. (sliced)
2 slices of garlic. (sliced)
Some black pepper.
Some salt and sugar.
Some Italian seasoning.
About 2tbs of Worcestershire sauce.
About 5tbs of breadcrumbs.
1 egg. (whisked)

Mix all of them up. Preferably the meat with the dry ingredients first. And then add up the egg and the Worcestershire sauce. Shape them into patties with your hands. Then you cook it! I grilled it. You could also fry it if you want. Add those other extras like veggies, mayo, cheese and such to add the flavour. Oh, and I also spread some garlic butter on the buns and just lightly cooked it for awhile. You'd love the aroma. :)

Mix everything up.

Shape it into cute lil patties.

..and voila! Bon appetit!

As you can see, mine was pretty plain. Didn't have cheese and I'm not a big fan of veggies. But still, it was yummy. Happy trying! Dan jangan lupa baca doa makan. ;)

Blue Like You

2009-11-30T01:17:00.008+08:00

Last night;

Aiman: Orang salu tanya Aiman, "Duk Penang ni, anak mami ka?" Aiman jawap, "Daklaa. Saya anak soleh."

Hehehehe Bangah and me cracked at this.
It has been 4 years here in Penang. (Going to be 5 next June. How time flies.) And the view on Penang Bridge has never failed to take my breath away. Simply beautiful. Subahanallah.

Hope you guys have been enjoying your hols. :)

This is cute

2009-11-29T22:27:00.003+08:00

Haven't Met You Yet- Michael Buble

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

:)

A Few Days Before

2009-11-25T15:47:00.006+08:00

Me: Ma, buat muka fierce!

Mama: Ok ok, camni?

Hehehehehe Nerdy Mommy.

We were toying around while waiting for Mama's glasses to be ready.

My parents are moving to Arafah today. Going to stay there till 30th November. I miss them. Badly. Friends, please pray for them ok? Thanks.

And,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. :)

Cecuti

2009-11-13T12:45:00.011+08:00

Can you believe it?! Another sem has ended.
And what a busy busy sem it was.
Fuh.

Happy Hols everyone! See ya in Penang!

p/s: you, take care ok.

Are You Really Happy?

2009-11-11T23:14:00.013+08:00

Dari Abdullah bin Zubair ra. berkata: Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya Nabi saw pernah bersabda;

" Kalaulah anak Adam ini diberi satu lembah daripada emas nescaya dia berkeinginan untuk mendapatkan lembah yang kedua. Dan sekiranya diberi lembah yang kedua nescaya dia berkeinginan untuk mendapatkan lembah yang ketiga. Dan sentiasa tidak akan merasa cukup perut anak Adam ini kecuali dipenuhi dengan tanah. (Yakni keinginan kepada mengumpul harta kekayaan akan habis apabila masuk ke lubang kubur yang hanya dipenuhi dengan tanah.) Namun satu rahmat Allah swt terhadap hambaNya, dari dia mencintai harta dunia kepada mencintai Allah swt (dengannya di dunia ini Allah memberi ketenangan dan memelihara dari sifat tamak dan rakus dari mengumpul harta.) "

-Hadith Riwayat Bukhari

Who's the boss?

2009-11-07T17:45:00.008+08:00

A protective and caring sister who gives her baby brother advices every two minutes and voluntarily reminds him when he's driving to keep one lorry-distance from the car in front, to hit the brakes when turning sideways, and to not dare go more than 90km/h finally receives one simple line;

"Kaklang, you sound exactly like Mama."

And so she replied,

"Why, thank you. "

It's good to be in charge. :)

My Everything

2009-11-05T17:50:00.007+08:00

The lovebirds are off to Mecca. Renewing their Hajjs. Alhamdulillah.

We arrived late (as always) at the Kompleks Tabung Haji so this was the only shot that I managed to take.

And this one. They're so cute.

10 years ago when they first went for their Hajj, I couldn't stop crying. Today, I still couldn't stop crying.

Haji Nazri and Hajjah Faridah (see how that rhymes?), the hols wouldn't be the same without you two. But I'm grateful that Allah swt choose you this year. Alhamdulillah.
I'll miss you. :'(

Rakan-rakan, tolong doakan Papa dan Mama saya pergi dan balik dengan selamat ya. Dan juga mendapat Haji yang mabrur. Thank you. :')

Write from the heart

2009-10-26T13:19:00.005+08:00

The most anticipated course for me in doing TESL, was Creative Writing. And thanks to Miss Mel, I learned a lot. And had so much fun! I mean, which other class allows me to write love letters? ;)

So thank you Ms Mel. You're the best!

Here's the key

2009-10-18T16:28:00.002+08:00

P/s I Love You

2009-10-09T20:39:00.003+08:00

8.00pm. Tika anakanda di Shah Alam menelefon Ibunda di Georgetown.

Me: Hello, assalammualaikum. Maa...

Mama: Waalaikummussalam. Ya, Kaklang?

Me: Ma buatpa?

Mama: Tengok P/s I Love You. (laughs) Tapi dah nak abih dah. Tak sempat tengok dari awai tadi.

Me: Ohh, awai dia lagi syok, Ma.

Mama: Yaka? Alaa, takpala nanti tengok lagi.

Me: Ma nak mai esok?

Mama: Takla Kaklang, Papa ja. Eh, rupa2nya mak dia ka yang bagi semua surat tu??

Me: Tak.. Mak dia tolong ja. Papa sorang ja? Awat Ma tak ikut?

Mama: Sebab Papa tak bagi Mama amik cuti. Oh!! Mak dia yang tolong pos surat2 tu ey? Betuilaa, kalau tak camna surat tu bleh sampai lewat kan? (laughs)

Me: Ha ah tulaa. Ma nanti tolong suh Papa bawakkan baju kurung purple Kaklang tertinggai.

Mama: Tertinggai? Eh? Last2 dia ngan Daniel tu ka?

Me: Tak, Maaaa. Baju tu dalam almari kut.

Mama: Ohh, ha ah. Tak jadi gak ngan Daniel. (laughs)

Me: Maaaa.

There is nothing more in this world that I want than being home with you. :'(

desiretoinspire

It's not just a colour

2009-10-08T16:06:00.004+08:00

Wednesday, October 28th is the Pink Hijab Day! I'll see you ladies in pink then! :)

Read here for more details.

(The finals has started around that week. Bummer)